David Everett Fisher

Absurd.

February 25, 2016 Meditation , , , , , , ,

Cracked Pot Meditations – Body is a Temple

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Meditation for February 25th, 2016

Body is a Temple

To help with our mental and spiritual health, sometimes we have to focus on our physical health. Most advice towards those suffering from depression and anxiety are told a little exercise will help lighten the mood. A lot of those in the spiritual journey world are active in yoga, Pilates, Barre, tai chi, ballet, trapeze and a plethora of other physical activities. Some just enjoy hiking, going to the gym or running.

Relax; no matter how much you take care of yourself, you are still going to die. Go ahead and run a marathon, but know that you will probably have shitty knees and will have to commute through the grocery store in a Rascal when you’re older. You are just an endorphin junky.

A lot of people waste their time exercising their physical form but ignore their mental and spiritual exercises. Ever heard of a dumb jock? This isn’t stereotyping, this is a scientific term for people who put their physical health over any other discipline. People who have trained for marathons have actually shown signs of scientific stupidity. You can’t train to run 26.2 miles and keep up sharpening your brain. Not possible.

People say that they exercise all the time now because they want to live longer healthier, but you just run the risk drooling on yourself not knowing your own name and having someone change your shitty pants for twenty years longer rather than dying when the Gods intended when they made you: 55.

So put down that Under Armor and throw off that Fitbit, you are just wasting your time and killing your personality by going to the gym. You should be going to a trivia at some bar somewhere, eating fried food and going outside and smoking cigarettes and absorbing intellect and social interactions instead of sweating and walking like you just rode a rhino across the United States every next day after visiting a gym.

The body is a temple slated for demo.

Prayer

Adonis,

I know my body isn’t that great,

and I get winded going up three stairs,

and I pulled my back muscle trying to get out of bed just to go get some more nachos before returning back to bed and finishing Magnum PI,

and that I may have all the plates in the house under my bed at the moment,

but maybe you could keep me from turning into a fat naked hamster?

I really have more important things to do than go to the gym,

like Netflix,

Hulu,

Amazon Prime,

Ways to watch things that I’m not comfortable mentioning in a prayer,

eating stuff,

drinking things,

reading books about boy wizards and dudes named Gray who like shades,

Perusing Facebook,

and getting pissed about some people’s reactions to:

Beyoncé,

Bernie,

Trump,

Black People,

Meme of the week,

Grammer,

Cartoon that easily explains the economy,

single payer health insurance,

patriarchy,

religion,

NBA,

NFL,

Kobe is great or not,

People who don’t know who Kobe is,

People doing every quiz possible,

Being invited to Candy Crush,

The changes in Facebook’s privacy rights and then posting that you don’t give Facebook the rights to your stuff and hope that is good enough because you are too scared to actually do the right thing and leave Facebook and just know that you are missing out unless someone actually remembers to call you and invite you but since you aren’t on Facebook anymore it is out of sight, out of mind, so hopefully just letting Facebook know that your pictures of you in bathrooms and in cars is your property and Facebook can’t use them the next time the United States needs to fake a terrorist plot so that we can get our companies into a foreign country easier,

and kitty cats!

So I need to keep this bodacious bod,

without the use of a gym, running or buying some weights for the house.

Oh, you introduced Leonardo DiCaprio’s dad bod to the Internet?

Thanks Adonis!

Amen!

Craft

Here are a couple of easy exercises you can do without joining a gym or spending entire paychecks on exercise wardrobes.

Have a child or seven and chase those little rugrats around without enough to eat and no sleep.

Punch a big person in the face and run.

Stress eats a lot of calories.

Don’t have a car and walk.

Hunt for food with a musket.

Be hunted by Rutger Hauer and Charles S. Dutton through a forest.

When you go to sleep at night, turn up the heat to high, wrap yourself in an electric blanket on high, wear three pairs of sweat pants, sweat shirts and two stocking caps. Sweat off that fat.

Social bulimia.

Goal

You don’t need to exercise anymore. We live in a time where our physical bodies are useless. If you were supposed to be fit, you would be a laborer. Your body is the first thing that will fail you, so keep the mind sharp instead.

Your body might be slated for demo tomorrow.

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