Meditation for August 29th, 2016
Bourne Masculine
This is written by Jason Bourne. My International and Intelligence correspondent.
Hello, my name is Jason Bourne. You might remember me from my documentaries, the Bourne series. I have had an interesting life. Some of the early childhood parts are fuzzy, mostly because the government may or may not have fucked with my memories using drugs and hypnotherapy, but anyway, I was trained to be the ultimate dude, a badass assassin.
Yessir, I have killed enemies of our precious United States of America in the four corners of the earth. See, I have been programed to be the ultimate patriots, and the only way you know if you are a patriot is to fucking punch a terrorist so hard in the windpipe that the Adam’s apple gets blasted through the windpipe causing the enemy of freedom to gurgle to death in like five or so minutes. So, actually, unless you’ve killed for America, you have no idea if you’re a patriot or a coward.
I’m not here to talk about patriotism though, I’m here to talk to you men about being a man. I have been an enemy of the United States ever since I came to with no memory of anything and suddenly the entire United States intelligence apparatus started spending millions upon millions of dollars to kill me, but I always seem to beat my way through hundreds of highly trained soldiers to catch a glimpse into the man I might have been. But now that I have killed, maimed, seriously injured, head butted, burned, melted with acid, blinded with fire extinguisher foam and used a bunch of other improvised weapons to hurt and kill any trained military, intelligence officer, mercenary and law enforcement personnel that stood in the path of me and my freedom, memory or girl that is alive at the moment, I get to come back to the USA, and what I’ve seen in men has disappointed me.
First off, don’t walk like you’re wearing a thong and flopping your hands around like you are made of rubber, walk with confidence. Look at my documentaries, I spend most of those movies walking with purpose either after another person walking with purpose or away from a scary person who is chasing me at a brisk confident walk. You can do whatever you want when you walk with confidence. You will no longer be beholden to employees only, restricted area, authorized personnel only signs because if you walk in walking confidently, no one will even blink an eye that you are back there. This is good if you need to hide a gun or find a high point to assassinate a dignitary.
Don’t worry about figuring anything out. You don’t have time to do mind work when a woman will for no reason at all, but maybe because they see a good heart in you, will do that stuff for you. There were times in my life when I was stuck and didn’t know what to do next. There wasn’t a single person to punch in front of me, so I wandered the world’s most exotic places to lay low and engage in illegal fighting matches – mostly because I’m not smart enough to do any other kind of work – when a woman finds me a tells me just enough information to get me into the next stage of my personal development as a person. She usually dies knowing she has helped a good man go on an international killing spree just because the United States is trying to cover up one of it’s many secret operations. Let women help you.
Fight. If you believe in what you are and who you are meant to be, fight. Don’t just yell at someone, I mean really fight. When you enter a room full of people that have a different point of view, here is what you do: kick down on the first person’s knee at a side angle so that the knee breaks while you head butt the second person hard, as the head butted person is reeling back screaming grab the broken knee person and guide his head into your knee three or four times, just enough to break the nose bone up so that you can send one of those shards into the man’s brain and killing him. Now you can spend the rest of the time with door man number two who is just being able to see as his nose is broken too. Run up on him and grab him around his throat and take him down to the floor and using the leverage of his head against the floor, punch him in the neck as many times it takes to sever his windpipe. See? You have convinced these two asshats that you are right!
This will help you not look like a total incapable man who argues using silly pictures with a few words on them or some passive aggressive comment about some belief you don’t share. If you disagree with someone, go to their house and kill everyone there. You want to get close and personal. This is why drone strikes will never take the place of a well trained psychopathic soldier who can get right up to the target itself and exterminate with extreme prejudice. You can’t sift through rubble and hope the target is there, I can tell you who I have killed and haven’t killed. And when you walk out of that house with all that blood of other people all over you body, you can go to sleep that night knowing that the person that disagreed with you will never ever disagree with you again and you can walk with confidence knowing that you didn’t try to defeat that person with a fucking picture.
Which brings me to the last step in masculinity. Stop talking. You don’t need to be right when you can break every bone in a person’s body before they can get to their sidearm. You don’t need to say anything because saying things just makes you more vulnerable to an attack. When a person talks, the vibration is coming from within our heads, causing our ability to hear the slight whipping of clothing of someone sneaking up on us with a large knife or the snap of a twig underfoot of a Spetsnaz soldier. Also when I’m making eye contact with someone while I take, I can’t keep my head on a swivel or catch the glint of a far off sniper scope. Almost every time I’ve been surprised and almost killed has been due to talking. There is nothing that a fist can’t say.
Now I’m off to meet Aaron Cross and deal with this shady government official who had more to do with operation Treadstone and Blakbriar. Aaron is also pretty good at walking with confidence, letting women do the thinking and problem solving, fighting and not talking, though he talks more than me.
I hope this helps you to find your masculinity, America, since I’ve been using my masculinity to help you sleep free at night.
-never mind that my enemy is always our own government.