Meditation for February 27th, 2016
Careers
We all are asked what we are going to be when we grow up and as we grow older, we choose paths that lead us to what we want to do for a career. They say that we should do what we love. We should find something that we are good at and focus on that as we grow up. Grown ups tell us all the time that we can do whatever we want!
Even people who love their jobs hate going to work. Show me a dream job (Come on, tropical island tester isn’t a real job), and I’ll show you how it sucks. People all the time think they can find this perfect job and then are let down the minute they realize they have to do work. Work sucks.
You can’t do whatever you want. Either that job doesn’t exist or you just aren’t good enough to do that. You have to pay the bills, so before you try every interesting class at the local community college to find a career path you love and putting yourself in student debt that will never be paid back with whatever career you actually end up getting, just get a job.
If you decide to do a job and do the artistic thing on the side, remember you are your job when you are at work and not a screenwriter or painter. If you were a real screenwriter, you’d be in Hollywood and if you were a painter you’d be at your studio, but instead, you are just a server at a farm to table restaurant. You aren’t even a chef or a cook, you are a waiter, so you can’t even pretend to be a food artist, so stop pretending to be a hard working chef when you bitch about the food industry at some bar. You just take the good people’s order in good time with a fucking smile on your face, you answer questions that the people may have and no question is too dumb because the people sitting there are the ones paying your bills and tipping you – and will probably tip you anyway even if you don’t smile and look sullen because you should be writing that scene instead of answering questions about if they can get broccoli on a separate plate instead of fingerling potatoes because potatoes isn’t Paleo – and bring out water and drinks and the food when as they are needed and give them the check when they seem to be ready to go. This is what a server does – even if they pretend to be an artist at the coffee shop the next day.
You might have to just accept that you aren’t going to be an astronaut or a famous playwright. You might have to be happy underwriting car insurance, making coffee drinks or washing windows. This is the system we have in place and what we do to make money matters to renting and buying homes and cars and to potential mates. Are we the guy who tends bars two nights a week so we can play with guitars the rest of the week or are we actually working hard for our money?
Prayer
Hephaestus,
I need a job.
I mean I really need a job.
I have spent the last three weeks perusing Craigslist,
but I couldn’t find a job anywhere.
I mean there were jobs,
but I don’t want to work that far away from the cool part of town,
that one is too corporate,
I don’t do that for work,
I don’t have any experience,
I’ve never done that before, but I’m sure I can’t,
without experience, I want more money an hour,
so I don’t have to work five days a week,
and I can tend my first love,
writing funny daily meditations.
Ananke,
Ugh…
It’s too early to go to work,
I’m going to call in sick.
You guys are going to the river?
I’m going to call in sick.
Oh, shit what a great show and I sure am drunk,
I’m going to call in sick.
I just can’t even.
I’m going to call in sick.
I’m in bed with a total babe,
I’m going to call in sick.
Sorry I’m late,
Can I go early?
Sorry I’m late,
Can I get Saturday off?
YOB is playing.
Sorry I didn’t do any of the things I was supposed to do,
but I was tired.
You never thank me for anything I do,
even thought it’s my job to do those things.
I don’t mop.
I don’t clean windows.
I’m scared of the machine.
I never learned that.
We have to do that, really?
When did we start doing that?
When can I go?
It seems slow.
Oh, no!
I don’t have any money?!?
I need to work extra hours!
Sorry, I can’t work today,
I’m playing hacky sack down at the park today.
Amen.
Tarot Reading
Shuffle your tarot deck really well. As you shuffle, meditate on what you want to do with the rest of your life. Know that you must focus because no one likes someone who is lost and perpetually growing up. Shuffle and focus for as long as you feel necessary.
Place five cards across, and then five more cards vertical down the right hand side of the first row.
Read the cards going left to right, and then bottom to top.
Card one: This is you now
Card two: This is what’s blocking you from finding your career or path
Card three: This is the card that represents when you missed your true calling and now will have to settle for something less moving.
Card four: This is what you want to do
Card five: This is what you will do
Card six: This is you starting your journey
Card seven: This is you fucking up right away
Card eight: This is you fucking up trying to correct your first set of mistakes
Card nine: This is you settling for something you aren’t cut out for and will only work there for a short time before getting fired or getting injured and spending the next five years on disabilities and addicted to pain pills
Card ten: This is the card that represents you just accepting who and what you are after trying so hard not to be that person.
Goal
Get a job. Work hard at that job. Die.