David Everett Fisher

Absurd.

February 4, 2016 Meditation , , ,

Cracked Pot Meditations – Dwarf Life

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Meditation for February 4th, 2016
Dwarf Life
Dwarves are a gregarious short stocky mythological race that originally shows up in Norse stories. They show up later in JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings and then a heavy in most fantasy epics. They represent the short life fighting spirit of the Vikings of Scandinavia. Sometimes we spend a lot of time in spiritual life trying to capture the spirit of the wise elves and not enough time singing war songs like the dwarf.
The first thing to remember is that Dwarves have long resentful memories. It doesn’t matter that something happened several centuries ago to your family, you hold those people responsible today. You don’t trust them, you try to get other people to turn against them with your stories of their sins, you cross your arms and glare at the person who represent your disdain. You might not aggressively fight that person, but you sure will make them feel unloved.
Dwarves love to fight, drink and sing songs. While they can’t dance to save their lives due to their huge feet, they can sing fight anthems, sorrowful arias that were composed from deep in the earth and drunken brawl songs where most of the words are spit that are splattering all over your face.
Shaving and bathing are low on the priority list, but knowing how to find your way in the dark, make battle-axes, shields, bier steins and intricately designed boxes – lots of Celtic knots and tribals. Dwarves love to work hard and are proud of what they create with their own hands, but also love to play hard and are proud of their ability to fight, drink and love harder than anyone else.
Dwarves are not magical beings like their surface dwelling elves. They disdain the use of magic, but they have the ability to make their crafts magical with the use of Runes and Wards. This is supposedly the first alphabet and protected by the Dwarves deep underground.
How do you capture the essence of Dwarf Life? Work hard and you deserve to play hard. You are proud of your accomplishments and if someone crosses you beat the goddamned shit out that person. Also, sell your house and move deep under the earth.
Prayer
O Vala Aule!
Hear my mighty roar!
With ale and mead pouring out of Rams’ horns,
I will fight any motherfucker in the room.
Hear my mighty song!
I sing to the clinging of hammers on anvils,
So I may get to the bar!
Hear my mighty grunt!
As I bed all the ladies,
who have beards as long as I!
Craft
Move your Bar-B-Que into your bathroom. Get the coals going nice and hot while you find a piece of iron ore. Heat the iron ore on your bbq till it’s white hot. Dip the piece in your toilet bowl to cool the metal, then place the piece on your bathroom counter and start hammering the piece to shape it to almost a point. Repeat in fire if piece becomes hard to shape. Take a lump of iron ore and heat it like the long bar piece you did before. This one you want to shape into a rectangle and a hole through the rectangle right in the middle. Now take both pieces and reheat it, and place the bar through the hole of the rectangle. Reheat the metal and create runes using a chisel. Be creative with your runes! Think of magical wards and symbols and try to recreate those on your brand new battle hammer!
Goal
Stop living like you’ll have plenty of time like an elf. The time is now and it is time to work hard, fight hard and play hard. Do your work with a strong song and don’t let any one who wrongs you ever forget it. Stop living in the sun and bury yourself deep underground where the earth is cool and moist like a rocky womb. Eat everything like its the best meal you had in your life. Never wipe off your muddy boots when you enter a homebody’s home. Never try to win an argument with logic and rational thought, but with your big ham fists. When you drink, always slosh your cup around and sing at the top of your lungs. Never walk away from a fight, a job or love.

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