Meditation for February 29th, 2016
Judgment
We are born with certain instincts that help us survive – if we were hunter-gatherers ten thousand years ago. These instincts are still helpful today, but if used moderately. One of these instincts is being judgmental. We sometimes need to listen to that voice in our head that suggests that the person before us is a creep and a murderer so we should walk away, or does that kind of put down make the creep a murderer so I should be as nice as possible? We rely on judgment to help us make those kinds of decisions.
Now that we aren’t wearing wooly mammoth shirts and wolf pants looking for roots and berries, we are in a society where some people want us to remove judgment all together from our instinctual arsenal while others feel like a thick wall of judgment will keep them safe from “them”. How do we use judgment responsibly? Where is that line where our judgment is right and not racist or stereotyping?
Be judgmental. This is what the Gods gave us to help us not run into any traps. People want to get ahead and will do anything to do that. Some will even hurt others, so our judgment will pick out those people and stay clear of them all together.
There is a reason for stereotypes. These are either based on half truths or full truths, but are just the glaring defect of a type of person, so we try to ignore them, but this is what protecting ourselves is, knowing the signs of danger. A man in a blue suit is going to be safe most of the time and a woman with hoop earrings will fucking cut you most of the time. Don’t get in an Uber car with a woman with hoop earrings.
People who drive Uber are like poor people who vote for Trump; voting emotionally instead of understanding that this is the worst thing for them, so don’t ever use Uber. Just keep bitching about the cab industry and hope someday they will update to the twenty-first century. Buses work pretty well, but a nice car for yourself will work the best. Bicycles are obsolete. Skateboards are suicidal and in-line skates are just putting a giant target on your back, but now I digress…
…Judge others if you want to survive. I don’t mean just not being murdered, but not being taken advantage of, ripped off or having your emotional strings played and you end up hurt and crying and posting vague emo shit on Facebook and hating all red headed men named Greg. You also can’t listen to the band Artic Monkeys because you guys both liked that band. If you had listened to your judgment that this dude named Greg seemed a little too immature working as a bar back at that metal bar in NE Portland and moved here from Ashville, NC vie Austin. You should have seen that he wasn’t ready for commitment by how he just moved into your place a week after you guys hooked up. You should have seen the red flags when he played hours of Fallout and going to bars and playing Magic the Gathering and never inviting you. You might have noticed he liked to smoke a lot of pot and stare at the TV no matter what was on – but loved cooking shows the best. Then he left you and two days later hooked up with your coworker Courtney and they post such cuuuute pics of them doing all the stuff he never wanted to do with you. Being judgmental would have saved you a lot of grief.
Prayer
Veronica the Brunette,
how do I not let this black person know,
that I’m afraid they are going to rob me,
without them thinking they are black?
It’s because they are wearing all blue,
all NC Tar heels swag,
one of those black nylon doo-rags,
and has a tear drop tattoo under his eye.
I was just afraid of the guy with the shaved head,
suspenders,
a flight jacket,
red boots and black shoelaces,
patches,
and I was just as scared because I’m Jewish,
and because I assumed that all people that look like this are assholes.
Well, they are,
and only they know which one believes in what belief,
and the rest of the world don’t care at all and think they are all Nazis,
so I just stay scared of anybody trying to keep an archaic subculture alive,
because doing it requires realistic acting.
Betty the Blonde,
how do I champion a cause,
to help a minority group,
that I’m not apart of,
and not be a White Messiah?
How do I not be Kevin Costner in Dancing with Wolves?
The paraplegic guy in Avatar?
A lot of other movies where white guy joins minorities perfects their culture and defeats his own race that wants to eradicate the humble minority?
I post things that are super helpful on Facebook.
When I explain what someone looks like,
I make race the last thing I say or I don’t mention it all-
at the sacrifice of the person never knowing whom I was talking about,
but if I had mentioned they were Asian they would have known right away,
because people who can see are visual.
I try hard to make this world a more tolerable place,
but I’m not willing to not live in historically minority neighborhoods,
breaking up an already fragile community,
because it’s cheap and the cool things are here now,
I won’t be willing to stop acting like a white person,
by shopping at New Seasons or Whole Foods,
taking Yoga or going to Buddhist Meditation classes,
having fondue parties,
liking soccer,
going to punk rock, metal, indie rock shows,
and dressing white.
Amen.
Craft
Read about other cultures that are not yours. Find one that you really like. Study that culture with seriousness. Now that you know as much about that culture you possibly can, adapt that culture as yours.
Some of my favorites to adapt are:
Native American – but I mix up the many different beliefs and rituals of all the different tribes into one.
Hindu – Taking Yoga and adapting the Hindu religion is really fun and white girls who wear Saris are hot.
Buddhism – This is the easiest one to adopt because most people just make it up as they go.
Japanese – Answer your front door in a kimono and politely ask them to remove their shoes as water is dripping out of a bamboo fountain. Make sure you have those paper screens everywhere and you cook primarily sushi. Maybe have a ponytail or bun. Eat exclusively with chopsticks even if its soup.
Portland – Wear flannels and jeans and a stocking cap. Look like you work really hard but that your industry was shipped over seas so there is no jobs and people are moving here and taking advantage of the low cost of living and acting like they can be a total bozo bum and make hobbies the main thing they do while you watch your town turn into a circus of passive-aggressive terrible drivers who complain about drivers who work in the service industry while single handedly keeping the service industry alive by only eating and drinking out except Mondays when you drink at the park like a teenager with glow in the dark hula hoops and playing dodge ball because this is now never never land and everyone wants to be Peter Pan.
Goal
Be judgmental. It’s okay if you are wrong as long as you are safe. Being judgmental might be the only thing between you and getting seriously hurt. You need to be okay hurting other people’s feelings when you need to say no to them. You don’t have to hang out with anyone you don’t feel safe with even if there is no proof at all. Trust that instinct. It might not be your gut telling you this person is awful; it might be God speaking through you.
Hate is safe.