David Everett Fisher

Absurd.

February 1, 2016 Meditation , , , ,

Cracked Pot Meditations – Passive-Aggression

  

Meditation for February 1st, 2016 Passive-aggression 

We live in a world of people who live somewhere on the scale between passive and aggressive, but mostly right in the middle. They want to stand up for themselves and set healthy boundaries, but they fear what someone might think or react to them. We live in a world where small groups of people have to work and play along side each other and personalities can come out, so people react. Do you shut down or do you stand up for yourself? 

One thing you shouldn’t do is try to be both. Do not be passive-aggressive. It’s ugly, it’s unintelligent and you’ll end up alone listening to the ghosts talk about how horrible you are behind the walls. This is one time where an extreme is preferable to the moderate solution. Either be loud and proud or be meek and silent. Don’t just mutter under your breath and kind of hope the person heard you, but really you hope not because it would be nice if that person would actually like you and instead of having that one dude as a best friend you could be a best friend and you guys would go to the dunes on the Oregon Coast all the time and go camping and dune buggy-ing. 

Being passive-aggressive is a lot like being a hipster, no one admits to it. Everyone lies about being aggressive when really they aren’t, and like how people talk about hipsters, post about how much passive aggressive people annoy them. Some may even post a blog about it. 

It may even behoove you to go to the opposite side of the spectrum. If you are loud, brash and always saying how it is, then maybe try being passive for awhile. Just let the world be the way it is. We already hear you all the time and whatever you are yelling about while punching the air, we aren’t buying, so sit down, shut up and accept. Maybe you are an introvert and can’t stand up for yourself. Try it. You are the ones that no one ever hears and maybe it’s time for you to yell what you think in the middle of dinner even if the topic you are yelling about isn’t even being discussed. Find that power! 

Prayer 

Prayer for the Aggressive Brutes 

O, Old Testiment God! 

Hear me for the last time! 

Give me the power to silence myself! 

Allow me to hear your eternal silence! 

May I not react to thy world’s dumbthest souls! 

Give me the power to accept opinions, 

as being just as important and right as mine, 

and knowing I could be wrong this whole time, 

but never learned to listen as I was screaming my faiths! 

May I know that no one needs to hear me, 

for the most powerful voice is silence, your voice. 

Amen. 

Prayer for the Passive Ninnies 

Um, Jesus. 

I know you just let yourself be crucified, 

but maybe you could, if you want, help me be more assertive? 

I don’t want to put you out, 

being the son of God and stuff, 

but if you have an open time slot, and only if you want, could you help me say what I mean? 

I’m probably not worth helping, for I’m a piece of shit, but maybe I could be pushed in the right direction. 

I’m sorry to bother you, King of Kings, but I have nowhere and nobody else to turn to. 

Amen. 

Craft. 

Craft for the Agro 

You no longer use Facebook. You just use it to see, but you no longer post, repost, comment, like or take screen shots and post it on your profile. You can see what people have to say, but you no longer get to respond. You no longer get to go on causes. You are now going to be a creepy Facebook stalker. You just read other’s posts, but you do not react when they say something you disagree with, or are wrong or needs corrections. You will forget what a keyboard is. 

Write what you would have said and then burn it. The outcome is the exact same as if you posted it. 

Craft for the Passy 

Pick something you disagree with on Facebook from someone you know in real life and lives in the same town as you. Format an argument in your head of what you want to say. Get it down pact. Think of any rebuttals your target may have and think of how you’d respond. 

Drive to that person’s house and respond. 

Don’t use Facebook because being passive in real life and aggressive on social media is disingenuous and actually you are lying about who you really are. 

Be that person in real life. 

Goal 

One of the biggest arenas for passive aggressive behavior is on the road. People complain about how people either drive too passively or too aggressively. Put your car in the garage and take public transportation. Yes, get up earlier and hop on the bus and just let someone else do the driving. Get to know other commuters, read all the books you lie about reading, listen to music and podcasts while staring at the landscape roll past without paying attention to break lights. If you live too far away to take public transport, you are the worst kind of person ever for making the traffic terrible, hurting the earth with car exhaust and the killing of forests to make your god damned ugly suburban enclaves. You are actually hurting people and should be sent away.

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