Oh, hello, I didn’t see you there; I was just polishing up my new blog. Do you like it? It has my name on it, and I think that is pretty neat-o. I hope you enjoy my new venture as I try to become a tad more professional.
I love writing. I do it almost every day, and when I’m not it is because I suffer from a depression so dark and so nasty that the idea that I can put words on a screen or on a piece of paper terrorizes me and freezes me with fear. That’s okay, that only happens every couple of months or so, so hopefully it won’t take long to get to type again, but I digress – I love writing.
I want to capture small moments that mean something to you as a reader. I want my words to be relatable and full of truth. I like capturing the mundane day-to-day thoughts and make people laugh or feel less alone. I can’t promise that I’ll be successful, but I’m doing this for free, so what’s the worst that can happen?
I write everyday, and I know I said that already, but this is a new idea, and I want to share that with you. I hope that this will be something you sit on the shitter and read and feel a little less lonely as your body lets loose the things it doesn’t need anymore.
I am a daydreamer. I love staring out the window of the bus and see all the people walking around pretending they have some higher purpose than getting somewhere and shitting that lunch they regretted eating and telling themselves they should revisit the gym, or the people running by addicted to the endorphin high and the self righteousness they feel after lapping fat people on the sidewalk – have fun with those knees in a few years, fucker. I will go from seeing people to an entire daydream where I’m fighting terrorists, wooing beautiful women, hitting home runs and diving to catch a line drive, making people cry as I play the most beautiful song they ever heard or winning an argument with my wit and intellect. What’ll be fun for you is after I daydream the fun stuff I slip into regret and morbid self-reflection. I should have done that differently, why did I do that, why did I say that?
I’m not going to tell you I’m a writer or you should take me seriously. I don’t want you to take me seriously and I don’t want you to think I’m taking myself seriously. I will try to write what I know and what I want to know and I want you to enjoy the journey.
I will also doodle. I got a really nice scanner so I can share my little drawings with you. I’m hoping to show just how goddamned talented I am. I’m a real renaissance man. One of my biggest inspirations is Shel Silverstein; especially, his Playboy travel doodles. I also love Sergio Aragones’s margin doodles in Mad Magazine. I hope to be somewhere as funny and gifted as those two, but they set the bar pretty high.
Thank you for reading my intro and look forward to hearing your feedback as I try to write and draw.