David Everett Fisher

Absurd.

Cracked Pot Meditations – Food & Supplements Need Intentions


Meditation for January 8th, 2017

Food & Supplements Need Intenetions

Our scientists and shamans have scoured the earth for the best foods and supplements to help be healthier. We noticed that some people, mostly skeptical friends and family who don’t believe these things, just didn’t get the same reaction as we do. So we went to our labs and temples to figure out why. 

We figured it out. You can’t just eat healthy foods and supplements without having good intentions. 

So when taking ginkgo biloba, ginseng, using healing crystals, or trying one of the diets fashioned after an early era of the human timeline, one must release any thoughts on if it’ll work or not. Studies has shown that those that felt that what they were taking would work, the supplement would work. 

Anytime a person felt negative about smudging white sage in their study or dropping a few drops of saint john’s wart in the tongue to ward off depression, the intended result did not come to fruition. Just like taking any kind of hallucination, one must feel positive or have a bad trip or a bunk trip, man. 

Just pure faith in something will make it true. We did a study, and 100% of people who had faith in God believed God was real. 100%! 

The only side note was that those who went to real doctors or sat down with nutritionists were healthier than those who went to just naturopathics and shamans. Ted was trying to treat his stage 3 leukemia with just a ginger, turmeric, blueberry tea died. Turned out chemo would have kept him alive. This blog is for Ted. He must have not been giving his tea enough good intentions, positive vibes, or faith for it to work, and that is where western medicine can help. 

Shamans and other spiritualists have said for centuries, it is just a matter of mind over matter. 

If people would just believe in naturopathic medicine, essential oils, supplements, ancient healing methods, magiks, and other ancient practices, we would be rid of hospitals and the evil pharmaceutical companies for good. 

We would just feel the intention to heal our own body, fill our space with nothing but posi-vibes, manifest faith as you walk out and chew on bark to cure your syphilis. 

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Cracked Pot Meditations – Red Flags


Meditation for January 7th, 2017

Red Flags

We live in an age where the information and ideals needed before the first date is astronomical. If we listen to the love song of yesteryear, we hear that people fell in love without even m owing the person’s name. Now we have online apps with matrixes so that we can find the perfect mate. 

It’s like the idea of dating someone and breaking up is a sign of complete and utter failure. 

Some look for red flags. They think that certain signs mean that the person is isn’t a good dating possibility. Not long enough since their last relationship, a serial monogamist, not monogamist enough, not in enough relationships, and any other kinds of clues from their past. 

Basically people want to date a virgin they don’t have to coach. 

When you date someone with red flags, you are dating someone that isn’t a blank slate. What they say to you, treat you, make love to you is the accumulation of all their past lovers. 

Someone who isn’t that experience is a blank slate. This person can be chiseled to match your ideals. Younger partners are great this way. Older people are stuck in their ways and can’t be taught new tricks. 

Juliette is 13 when she falls in love with the 28 year old Romeo. She falls for Romeo’s come one that he has sharpened in the decade and a half experience he has garnered. 

People say they don’t want the responsibility of dating a virgin. They don’t want the kind of attachment that happens for a virgin and their first. 

People want someone with one or two red flags, so that they have some experience, but not so many that they are completely not willing to compromise and not less so that there is a responsibility and training that needs to be done. 

Basically no one should be getting in any relationship ever because no one has any fucking idea what they are doing. We live in a time where there is too much information on dating, but divorce is still rising. 

The average American marriage lasts 4.5 years. 

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Cracked Pot Meditations – Year of the Fire Cock


Meditation for January 6th, 2017

Year of the Fire Cock

On January 28th, the Chinese will celebrate a new year and welcome the year of the Fire Cock

This will be a very auspicious year for everyone but the people born in previous year of the Cocks. 

You will feel the heat in you to begin new projects, create new things, and start new businesses. Be careful to not go too fast or that nasty Fire Cock will burn you. 

People who are born in years of the cock tend to have a great sense of humor. Just be careful because your jokes might have a little extra fire on them. You might be slapping your Fire Cock wit across a friend’s face.  

This is a great year to practice honesty. Just be careful to not spray honesty out of your Fire Cock sign when it can do more harm than good. 

You might find yourself more extroverted this year because being in the Fire Cock sign makes one step out of their comfort zone more. Hold on to that Fire Cock enthusiasm for more social interactions. 

This year might find you working harder than ever and striving for perfection. Rub on that Fire Cock magic and you might find yourself being rewarded for your hard work. 

Sometimes when in a professional group, you might have to be careful to not try and prove who has the biggest Fire Cock attitude. 

The year of the Fire Cock will put looks over all else in the romantic realm. Cocks love to strut their stuff and ruffle feathers. 

Cocks should never date other Cocks. Date any other sign but other Cocks. Cocks only know how to Cock fight, and in the year of the Fire Cock, the Cock fight could get violent. 

This is a year of passion and sexual energies, so use that to your advantage, but be careful of stuffing your Fire Cock where it doesn’t belong. 

Well, kids, get out there and party. This is gonna be a hot year. Surround yourself with Fire Cock social situations and stay away from Cock fights. 

January 6, 2017 Meditation , , , , , , , ,

Cracked Pot Meditations – On Absolutes


Meditation for January 5th, 2017

On Absolutes

People have been more absolute in their convictions now than ever before. People either know exactly why they exist and their purpose because of X, or they don’t care at all and don’t want to know. Either way, it is an absolute. 

Some time in the common era, people have given up trying to grasp the very complicated truths about our very existence and decided to settle for simple, yet untrue or omitting most of the actual facts, answers. 

People have decided that because their pizza pocket takes no longer than 90 seconds in a microwave, that they no longer need to wait for truth. They want an answer now and the loudest voice wins. 

Our very soul thrives on uncertainty. Having an existential crisis on why we are here, what is the point, and what happens after we die is the very nature of being human. Animals feel, have communication, some mate for life, and others even have opposable thumbs, but feeling the very crushing weight of all the universes on our lonely minds is the very essence of the human experience. 

We grab for religion, philosophy, and science for answers. As time gave way to technology, the answers were never enough to have life’s mysteries figured out. We found an answer to one thing and the left and the right of that answer became new mysteries. Science, philosophy, and religions fought over the mysteries, but even with science’s more proven method of answering a mystery, it was never enough to squash the need for religion and philosophy. 

What happened? People shrug their shoulders at these mysteries and don’t care. None of the mysteries have been solved, but either the little answers we do have is enough, or who gives a fuck. 

We have become no better than animals because we have turned our backs on not being absolute. It’s ok to not know, but it’s life to keep asking. 

Being so absolute has squashed art, poetry, music. Art is the mortar in the bricks of uncertainty. Fear and being in awe of the very fabrics of reality around us is what has created the most beautiful music, art, and poetry ever made. Certainty has given us Banksy, Drake, and claiming that Bob Dylan is a poet, but can’t compare him to any poets because no one knows any poets. 

The phone gives you Absolutes. Put the phone away and everything you see will become terrifying and awe-inspiring. 

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Cracked Pot Meditations – Office Culture


Meditation for January 4th, 2016

Office Culture

Here at the Cracked Pot Meditations we have over 50 workers tirelessly researching the art and science of meditation. Every one of those workers has a workspace. We believe in making the workspace work for us so that we can be more creative and more productive. 

No meetings

We don’t have any meetings. We don’t even want more than two people getting together to discuss work at all. Sure, yap about HBO shows and how racist your aunt is, but don’t all sit down and design anything. Meetings make people sleepy. 

Pets

Everyone here at CPM is required to have a pet and that pet is required to come to work with you. Bob in accounting brings in his laberdoodle Stan. Letia in R&D has a boa named Daniel Ortega. Darlene in reception is so negative she only has a let rock named Jim Rockford. Sometimes pets fight each other. Remember, no gambling!

Meditations

Where would CPM be without meditation? We set aside six hours a day for mindfulness, stillness, and traditional meditation. We have rooms set up to look very Buddhist. We have a zen garden where people can rake lines around rocks. We have guided meditations in float tanks. We also have Ayahuasca Fridays. We also have a gun range for those that need to blow off a little steam. Sometimes Ayahuasca Fridays and the gun range don’t mix. 

Work from awesome location

It’s one thing to work from home, it’s another to work from Mosul, Iraq during a fire fight. Studies have shown that working from hot, exotic, and dangerous locations produce much better results. Now imagine working in a fire fight in Mosul, Iraq on Ayahuasca Friday. 

Fuck goals

We have lots of people that work here at the Crack that don’t have any discernible goals or purpose for drawing a paycheck, but goals just bogs down work. Goal keepers watch the clock and just stays stressed. The people that don’t have goals spend their days playing ping pong, playing Xbox, and shooting up the zen garden high on ayahuasca. 

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Cracked Pot Meditations РThe Loss of Life Expectancy 


Meditation for January 3rd, 2017

The Loss of Life Expectancy

For the first time since 1993 the life expectancy in the Untited States has dropped. Why would Americans be losing life span instead of gaining because of technology and further advancements in medicine?

The answer is within these key words: natural, organic, non-GMO, gluten free, vegan, ayurvedic, unprocessed, raw, and other hippy marketing definitions. 

People are trusting health care professionals and medicine less and reaching out to eastern and naturopathic remedies for their healthcare. 

Most of these diets and health care choices are from historical known practices. Unfortunately this is also when the life expectancy was around 45 years old rather than 78. 

The problem is that at one time, and this is a side effect of free market, doctors were endorsing cigarettes. This is the very definition of a. If company using money to lead the public in a dishonest direction. 

The other problem is the internet. It now gives the people a false sense of knowledge. Someone posted on my Facebook page as a joke, but the article wasn’t a joke, that ginger is 10,000 times more powerful than chemo, and it only targets cancer cells. The problem is that it is total horse shit, but people believe it. 

Fact: I love ginger and eat a lot of ginger in my life. Still had cancer. 

So this is why our life span is now shortening. We are now getting too dumb to survive. We are killing ourselves with unsound advice and being treated by unprofessional amateurs. People are treating their selves with a dose of internet and a crazy neighbor lady’s recommendation for turmeric bathsalt bong hits. 

So now I only eat McDonald’s sausage and egg McMuffin because I want to live a long time. 

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Cracked Pot Meditations – The Tree of Life


Meditation for January 2nd, 2016

The Tree of Life

There are a lot of similarities between the world’s religions and myths. The tree of life is mentioned in almost all of them. This idea of a tree that branches out in the heavens and spreads its roots in the underworld permeates Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Judaism, Baha’i, Ancient Egypt, Assyrian, Persian, Chinese, and even the Mormons. 

We live in the trunk. Below us is the root system where our myths fester and nurture. Above us spread across the universe is it’s branches. The branches spread farther than we can imagine. 

In the heavens is where our divine will lives. It is where we try and seek purpose out of the vastness of life. 

Below the highest branches lives wisdom. This is what we know and our thirst for more knowledge. 

In the lowest branches is understanding. This is understanding how wisdom and divine will connects us all. 

Where the trunk splits up into the branches is our known knowledge. This is our gifts that we were born with. Talent. 

Below that is the oldest part of the trunk. This is where kindness, severity, beauty, victory, and splendor live. This is where we are. 

Below that is the trunk and that is the foundation. This is where you place your feet. This is what some call the force, or the God in everything. 

Under the earth where the roots branch out is where the kingship is. This is our original mother and father. This is the vessel that carried us. This is how we become nourished and watered. 

The tree is diseased. Right in the trunk. Where we are. The kindness, severity, beauty, victory, and splendor are sick. The bark is cracking and falling off. 

This threatens the branches above us. This is our purpose in life. We are losing that because our  kindness, severity, beauty, victory, and splendor is sick.  We thought forgoing kindness, severity, beauty, victory, and splendor would help us find purpose, but it made it impossible. 

The roots are drying up in the dying soil, and our kingship and foundation are now critical.

We are killing our own Tree of Life. 

With the end of the Tree of Life is the end of us. We put our selfish needs for unimportant ego and self-centeredness over the very nourishment our Tree gives us. We allowed disease and famine to eat our very Universe. 

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Cracked Pot Meditations – Not Being Smart


Meditation for January 1st, 2017

Not Being Smart

No matter what information a person needs or how complicated the issues maybe, everyone has an opinion. Opinions have replaced intellectualism and searching for knowledge. To question a person’s opinion is to be at war against their feelings and self. 

No one likes to be dumb. Not to be the smartest person in the room is the most terrifying thing in a person’s life. So an opinion becomes just as valid as fact even if it’s wrong. 

With the internet being easily accessible to just about anyone, people believe they have the same access to information as the experts who studied for years on the subject. This means a cashier at a deli has just the same amount of knowledge on a topic as a nuclear physicist. Except the physicist is basing their knowledge on fact while the cashier is sharing an opinion. 

Our society has decided that belief has some sort of value. It doesn’t. There is no value in believing that God created man out of clay when it doesn’t do anything for anyone but maybe harm. Attacking a person’s belief is almost a crime, and when I say attack I mean ask for what facts back that belief. 

The climate hoax believing old people and the anti-vaxxer hippies believe their beliefs are legitimate and real. They use personal experience as a fact, something they read on a questionable website or an email that was forwarded to them by either baldeagle1776@aol or purplegiraffepsychicmarigold1967@earthlink, they will even base it on just knowing it is true. 

Belief and opinion have no value at all. It doesn’t serve anyone, including yourself, anything at all. In a lot of cases beliefs and opinions are harmful. 

Knowledge is hard. It takes effort. It requires a journey. Looking at a few lines on Wikipedia, Blaze.com, or Huffington Post is not going to give you knowledge. 

For example I tried to see what percentage of the GDP we as a country spends on science and research versus the percentage of the GDP we spend on the faith based initiative that was created by President George W. Bush and then enthusiastically continued by President Barack H. Obama. While the percentage of the GDP for science and research is 2 to 3%, finding the GDP of money put into religious groups is going to require a lot more research. Both administrations are not transparent about giving money to faith based (Protestant) programs.

So the answer isn’t easy. Beliefs and opinions are easier. Lies and guesses are the easiest. 

So I could just say that we spend 5% of the Gross Domestic Product (GDP) on faith based groups. Right wingers get up in arms about spending tax money on welfare, but feel fine about giving money to groups who believe in myths to do the welfare programs.

But because people believe in something, they feel like they are justified. They treat their belief as facts. They don’t have to be accountable to any kind of truth. 

Now we have a platform where everyone gets to share those opinions and beliefs with no accountability at all. “It doesn’t matter if it’s true because it’s what I feel.”

If you’re feeling it, then it’s not fact, and people would rather be right than true. And that is why most people choose to not be smart. 

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Cracked Pot Meditations – Buddhist Spotlight


Meditation for December 31st, 2016

Buddhist Spotlight

A lot has been reported on the Catholic Church sexual abuse by priests, but what if I told you that the sexual abuse perpetrated by Buddhist Monks and teachers are much higher?

Why hasn’t it been reported on?

It has been so rampant in Bhutan, Cambodia, and Thailand that they have issued condoms so that the abused won’t catch STDs. 

You know I have issues with the Dalai Lama, and the issues gonin with reports of sexual abuse from exiled monks all over the world. 

In Tibet, it is common practice for many centuries to send very young children to the monasteries to live. They are brought to the temples before they’ve had a chance to have a sexual experience and not have a say about a life of celibacy. 

There has been sex abuse cases in Buddhist temples in Europe in free thinking places like the Netherlands, Austria, and even here in the United States. 

And like the Catholic Church, American Buddhist temples are paying off victims to keep the scandal under wraps. 

But unlike the Catholic Church, the Buddhist sexual abuse scandal is being ignored entirely by the mainstream media. 

Is it because the media is liberal and therefore afraid to shine a light on its own beloved religion?

Is it because the Catholic Church is western, so therefore easier to understand while Buddhism is eastern and therefore too confusing?

Is it because the majority of Catholic victims are American while the majority of Buddhist victims are from third world locals?

The point is the prayer flags, the cross, and the Michael Jackson music all come from a place of pain and suffering of others. Keep meditatating, you horrible person. 

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Cracked Pot Meditations – Every Year is a Capricorn


Meditation for December 30th, 2016

Every Year is a Capricorn

Tomorrow night 2016 will shrivel up and die, and 2017 will be born from the ashes, a Capricorn. If we look up to the stars we will see that the year is yet again born in Capricorn. 

This explains why history spirals circularly since the acceptance of the modern Gregorian calendar where the New Years begins January 1st. 

Year in and year out where the year is a Capricorn. This why every year is earthy. Capricorn is an earth sign. 

This is why every year has a cardinal red hue. This is why the Catholic Church remains a powerful force on the year’s timeline even though it is way past its actual usefulness. 

This why every year is dominated by the planet Saturn. This is a giant gas planet surrounded by rings. 

If years were born in other signs ever, 2017 would be compatible with Tauruses and Virgos, but every year is a Capricorn so there is no other year that is comparable. This is why every year is similar, but not the same. 

Every year is controlling, responsible, and loves micro managing those living in that particular year. That is why daily planners are always best sellers at book stores and productivity apps for smart phones have become so popular. 

Capricorns are unforgiving. Just minor mistakes will make the year turn against you. The year will literally be against you. Capricorn years like to show contempt for those trying to live through a year. 

Capricorn like to keep things traditional and simple. Trying to be a free spirit or break down the barriers of traditions to try new ways of life will make 2017 and all other Capricorn years against you. Don’t try and travel with just a backpack, try polyamory, or get your nose pierced. 

Give a year long enough it will start to hate you. Trying to outlast the year without it noticing you is the best policy. If 2017 does end up noticing you, it will destroy you. 

When trying to fall in love during a Capricorn year, which is every year, you will only have a long serious relationship where you just spend quality time together processing feelings and holding space for each other, changing boundaries centimeters at a time, and going to couple’s therapy. 

Getting a job during a Capricorn year, and like I said, every fucking year is a Capricorn year, means you will work hard for no to little compensation. You will keep thinking that you are going to rise up the corporate ladder, but you will get a lot more responsibilities for mere pennies more. 

Welcome to 2017. It’s another Capricorn. Maybe it’s time for looking at other months becoming the new New Years. 

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