Are you guys happy? It’s sunny and warm; you can stop bitching about the long grey days now. This is the weather that’ll make you forget about where you moved from and Portland becomes that desirable place you keep reading about in the NY Times. Of course that means that no matter where you go in this city it’ll be crowded. Longer lines in coffee shops and restaurants, no seating in the patio, parks will be overrun by fair-weather hippies and alternative “sports” hipsters. Also, because we didn’t have a freeze this winter, we’ll have lots and lots of bugs. Enjoy, fuckers.
I just got my testicles tested for a tumor. It seems that I don’t have one, but something is wrong in there, so they took some tests. Now I have swollen balls and fear that I’ll die before this year’s World Series. I have varicocele. Look it up, it’s disgusting.
I’m still in the midst of beginning an amazing relationship. I’d write a whole blog post about her, but you’d just throw up and throw empty beer cans at your computer screen or chuck your smart phone across the bus, and I don’t want to do that to you. All you need to know that she is amazing and I am completely smitten.
I haven’t been writing as much the last few weeks. I haven’t taken as much time to write and I’ve been suffering a little bit of writer’s block. Also, see new relationship and swollen balls paragraphs above. I feel a little more inspired the last few days, so I’ve been writing some more short stories and made a little more headway on my sci-fi novel.
I’m going to Santa Cruz later this month and I can’t wait to get out of Portland and hang out with pelicans and otters and see Megan and hopefully get in a baseball game or two. I will also see Dave Alvin, which is pretty awesome.
There was this chance that my testes had a cancerous tumor and that made me feel really mortal. It made me think about my regrets and all the things I haven’t done yet. It also made me realize that I need to quit this smoking and take a lot more care of myself. The combination of dating someone that a future is very high makes me want to stop hating my body and start taking care of myself. I’m not a total couch potato; I walk everywhere, I play softball and I work on my feet all day. I don’t over eat; I just eat not the healthiest choices. I don’t have a sugar tooth, but I love gravy and fried food. I pick my tomatoes and lettuce off of my cheeseburgers.
I have taken stock of my life and in a lot of ways I still live like I don’t have that much time left, but now I don’t want a short life. I want to live longer. I want to be a healthy old man.
I’m old now.
My armpits are small sweat waterfalls.
Other than the doctor visit, this has been a really nice couple of days off. It’s amazing how much more down time I need now days.
I had a dream last night that I was in a ‘school’ of jellyfish. I was scared at first, but I soon realized that I was impervious to their stings. We floated along in bluish green ocean and below me were a pod of humpback whales singing. It was such a peaceful dream. Nothing really happened – just floating with these giant jellyfish and whales.
I get to go to Ron Jeremy’s Club Sesso tonight for an erotic art show. I look forward to seeing the art and to see what the Hedgehog has done.
I went on a class trip to Club Sesso once. It was for my Human sexuality class at PCC, it was one of the best classes that I have taken or maybe most entertaining, I have learned more in other classes but I would say that what I learned in that class was important and helped me look at some ideas in a new way. And club Sesso, well that was an interesting place good for it for existing.
Varicocele is gross, but I’m glad it was not a tumor.