Tornadoes are touching down, and we are on the top floor. The lightning and thunder are instantaneous. Fear is such a hard feeling to decide whether to give in to it or ignore. If the fear is true, we can die; if the fear is false, we can miss out on living. Sometimes when I […]
This past September was my seventh anniversary of being diagnosed with cancer. I wrote a blog about it. It was the last one I wrote. I’ve spent the last week going through the medical motions of getting a new PCP, an Oncologist, and trying and maintain my health. I have been told the chances of […]
So much of culture is focused on the transition between youth and adulthood. There are hoops one must jump through to be considered an adult. Getting up before noon, cooking food before you are so hungry you will pass out, opening your mail when you get it, being able to dissect the weather, and […]
It was 5 years ago today that Nicole and I began our relationship. There was so much going on in those days. I was in the middle of cancer treatment, recovering from major surgeries, and waiting to find out if my prognosis is terminal. She was going through a lot as well, which isn’t my […]
Time, of course and cliché-y, is an illusion. Sometimes it falls by us like windows of a building that we just jumped off with the wind whistling in our ears, and sometimes time treats us as immortals: slow. When certain days repeat, we stop and think of ourselves. New Year is no exception, and in […]
Yesterday was my 5-year anniversary of being diagnosed with cancer. No one wrote on my Facebook wall, called, or sent me any presents. In my life, this anniversary has as much to do with who I am as my birthday, my sobriety date, and my wedding anniversary. It’s a bittersweet date. I was one kind […]
A quarter century ago I tried to not drink. You’d think that would be super easy, or depending on who you are, really hard. I wasn’t sure that I’d stay sober that long, or if I thought I wanted to be sober, or if it was something I could do, but I knew that the […]
For the second time in my 42 years of life, I have successfully finished cancer chemotherapy treatment. The tests came back good and there are no signs of cancer in my body. I have waited a long time after the last treatment for this appointment. Now I get to be cancer free again. Like last […]
“All right,” said Deep Thought. “The Answer to the Great Question…” “Yes..!” “Of Life, the Universe and Everything…” said Deep Thought. “Yes…!” “Is…” said Deep Thought, and paused. “Yes…!” “Is…” “Yes…!!!…?” “Forty-two,” said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm. -Douglas Adams Today I turn 42. Which, if you didn’t know, is the answer to […]
Four years ago I was diagnosed with stage three cancer. This has turned into an anniversary like my birthday or my sobriety date, except no one really celebrates it with me. I don’t really know how I should feel about today other than my life is completely different now. I also quit smoking cigarettes that […]