Cracked Pot Meditation – The Soviet Union

Meditation for November 29th

The Soviet Union

You know when life was simple? When we lived in the shadow of the Soviet Union, threatening to annihilate us from the face of the planet with nuclear missiles every day. It was a clear and understandable political and economic system: communism. The Red Scare kept us up late at night with worries of invasion. We always had covert and overt proxy wars all over the globe that we could root for from afar.

Then one day, the Soviet Union crashed into the Siberian tundra under the weight of its doomed economic policies. The people wanted to be free. They saw that the West envied our liberty. The great commissar had failed.

Now our enemies are hidden in shadows without clearly defined boundaries on a map. They aren’t driven by wealth and power but by religious fervor that is too similar to the religion that drives many Americans.

Instead of a complete nuclear winter setting in, small packs of marauders driving armored vehicles and fighting for oil and water, listening to heavy metal, it is just the slight possibility of the lovely place you’re in blowing up. How can you fight an enemy like that?

Now we are directionless, and because the Soviet Union isn’t there to unify us, we are as split as we were during the Civil War.

We need a Soviet Union. We half-ass try to make it China, and even once in a while, we vilify Vladimir Putin’s Russia, but it doesn’t have the same ring. China is making too much of our stuff, and Russia is just a giant state of hillbillies. There are many similarities between Russians and Florida Men. 

We were always building and competing economically during the Cold War. The motivation was there. The government spent money on things other than the military. They spent money on education so we could be more intelligent than they are. The CIA even funded crazy avant-garde art to shove in the Soviets’ face how free we were with our freedoms of expression. We woke up every day knowing we needed to be better scientists, doctors, soldiers, artists, sanitation workers, violinists, etc. Those goddamned pinkos.

The last bastion of communism is fading away after Cuba’s revolutionary hero and dictator, Fidel Castro, died of natural causes. He ran the country like the very best socialist ideas with the significantly worse fascist ideology. Made great health care and education, but tried to rid the island of the unmentionables like gays, the diseased, and other weirdos. It’s like Castro is a weird Bernie-Trump hybrid.

Some try to make it about religion, but religion makes a strong case against capitalism, so the idea of Christ versus Muhammad hasn’t quite made it out of the hate groups. Religion doesn’t have the same pull as it did before. There would need to be more Muslims issuing fatwas against us, and we would need more people pushing to continue on the crusades.

The Soviet Union was a clearly defined space, and terrorists are in most countries. Only a few countries spend money on state-sponsored terrorism: Iran, Syria, Saudi Arabia, and Texas. Most countries want to be rid of the psychos as severely as we want them to be gone, but we keep making significant decisions and/or bombing happy wedding parties and making more.

Instead of worrying about the bus you’re on blowing up by a suicide bomber, the war with the Soviet Union was fought in African and Asian civil wars, bolstering puppet governments, economic warfare, and hockey. The fear was too abstract for the daily worry about the clouds raining radiation on us.

We need a foe. Superman would be too powerful without Lex Luthor outwitting him. We have grown fat, stupid, comfortable, and corruptible

There is one glimmer of good news. Before the Great Bear died, she sent hundreds of sleeper agents to live among us. They were to be like normal men and women living like Americans.

One man woke up in the late 90s to numbers being read monotonously over the radio. The numbers kept repeating and repeating. He had been activated from under the ashes of the Soviet Union. She was going to try one last attempt to take down the grand capitalist haven that is the United States of America.

With the help of the KGB’s top hackers, this sleeper agent became the greatest of all moles, the very nightmare of the late James Jesus Angelton, who ruined his life thinking there was a mole at the very top position of government in the United States. This sleeper agent is now the elected president of the United States of America.

Using tactful fake journalism, feeding off the very little we spend on education, sparking the same fears religion had already instilled in us before, and having anger push the working class to vote against their own best interest, the old Soviet Union has risen.

The Red Scare is a phoenix rising to defeat us once more.

I will look to the late Patrick Swayze for motivation. The sky is filled with men parachuting down. I will become a Wolverine, and I won’t take any goddamned Russian to take my America away from me! WOLVERINES!

Prayer

I would pray, but God has become the golden calf rather than the father of the desert described in the holy books. So now, God has turned His back on the meek, not that anyone took His Son seriously anyway, and now He is blessing the rich and powerful. We fought communism because they outlawed religion, because nothing is more important than the State, but now we see crosses on American flags, so who are the ones worshipping the State over their God? I wish I had something to pray to, but God is a traitor and is not the God of the gospels.

Craft

Answer this: If communism doesn’t work, then why did the United States spend trillions of dollars, use embargos and blockades (which killed innocents), coups, and even assassinations to assert capitalism over communism?

Goal

Next time you feel you need more motivation, hate someone. Hate them so much you want to beat them at everything. Your whole life is centered on beating this person at everything. Make sure you pick someone who can challenge you.