On January 11th, 2016, I started a daily practice of writing a joke meditation of the day called Cracked Pot Meditations. I was still recovering from the treatment of cancer, and I was having very challenging cognitive issues, so I chose just to put something simple and easy to write every day. Posting it to the blog allowed me to have some accountability. Some of those meditations were poorly written and unedited. I have gone back and begun editing these and adding an illustration, starting with the April 27th meditation. I hope you enjoy.
Meditation for August 8th
8 signs you are a successful person
1. You’re an extroverted asshole
Not only are you outgoing and talkative, but you don’t care who you throw under the bus to get what you want. You don’t have time for feelings and boundaries, because money is out there to be made. And by the way, there isn’t enough.
2. You are ready to steal ideas
You can take someone else’s idea, wrap it in a personal bow, and present it more effectively than the original. You sometimes call it “open-minded”. Why do you think Facebook is the one that succeeded and not MySpace or Friendster? If you’re gonna steal, you also have to kill the originals.
3. You won’t admit you were ever wrong or are on the wrong path
Death before dishonor. To be successful, you can’t ever have made a mistake, and you can’t admit when you’re on a sinking ship. It could be that it’s not their fault, or you might have been saying all along that this wouldn’t work. Make sure you have some patsies around to blame your grosser failures.
4. You have a huge pain threshold
Most people fail because they are short-sighted and want instant gratification. Successful people know how to get wrecked and experience excruciating pain for a long time to succeed. It is better if other people suffer instead, but whatever. It might not even be a pain threshold; it might be being a complete psychopath. You don’t feel any pain or empathy, which is what makes one successful in business.
5. You know how to use your strengths
You are a fucking bully.
6. You are ambitious
Fuck love, passion, freedom, relaxation, leisure, and friendship or family; ambition is the most essential motivation to get up in the morning. Having a hobby or worthwhile relationships with others can get in the way of achieving your goals. People who don’t add revenue to your life are just taking revenue from you, so remember that ambition is the true meaning of life.
7. You set goals
It’s great that you know what you want, how to achieve it, who has it, and the small steps needed to reach your goals.
8. You are always doing
If a shark stops moving, it dies; similarly, a successful person will always be moving. You can’t just sit and watch a sunset or the water lapping at the shore; you must always be adding to your life. There is always time to reflect on some of these other things after you die, but for now, you have to make sure that every move you make is to succeed and make money because that is the only thing in the world that gets us anything. It’s not free to live, you know. If you aren’t successful and you are alive, that is not a right, but a privilege. So, don’t be an anchor on society; instead, use your resources wisely.