Meditation for February 1st
Allergies
Many of us have allergies. We have to be careful when we shop and when we eat out, for we don’t want to react to something we are allergic to. Some people have many allergies and have various symptoms, or they become very sick. Sometimes we develop allergies later in life if we didn’t realize we had them as children. Some allergies have minuscule consequences w, while others will actually kill us.
Allergies are a sign of weakness and that God does not favor certain people. The more allergies one has, the more God hates that person. Most people who have allergies just haven’t tried certain foods the right way. But being an adult means letting go of the things in our lives that make us weak. Allergies are a cry for attention because no one wants to be the person who can eat anything; that’s for fat people. Just saying that you can’t have uten makes the rest of the party at the restaurant feel so merry for you.
At least vegetarians and vegans are just refusing to eat certain foods.
Allergies are people’s starved need for love, and the only way to get that love is to have a physical reaction to certain foods and fabrics. The only way one feels they can get love is to have their face blow up and turn purple, and for their throats swell shut, causing them almost to die, but their loved ones take them to the hospital. That is the only way the allergic can feel love. They don’t have faith that when the people in their lives tell them they love them, it’s not enough.
It’s hard to feel in control of our environments anymore. The world is in chaos. Nothing seems real, so the only way to wrestle back some semblance of power is to impose dietary restrictions that inconvenience everyone else. You can’t make the world a better place, but you can make dinner a whole dramatic play by asking the server for the entire list of ingredients, their origins, and if the chef touches any of the things you are allergic to.
Take a deep breath and forget everything you are allergic to. You want to get love by your own merits, not by being killed by peanuts. Eat everything and judge in your reaction until you are alone. No one really likes people with allergies, they make choosing restaurants and what to bring to potlucks a real pain in the ass.
Prayer
Dearest Author of Leviticus,
Please, make me not allergic to anything,
Takeaway my swelling when I eat chocolate,
My sneezing when cats & dogs are around,
My breathing issue after eating strawberries,
My itchy skin when I wear wool.
Make me unaffected by nature.
Dearest Control Freak of the Heavens,
give me the strength to eat whatever I want,
so that I may be less annoying to my loved ones,
so I can be enjoyed socially,
instead of people sighing and saying those restaurants are out of the question because I have those allergies.
Make me actually strong,
instead of a weak-assater.
Amen.
Craft
Find these plants: Poison Oak or Ivy, Stinging Nettle & Deadly Nightshade.
Cover your mattress with these plants.
Sleep on this naked for months until you become immune to the poisons.
Create a tight-fitting outfit from these plants. Fight Crime and become POISON PLANT PERSON!
Goal
Let go and let God when it comes to allergies. God wants us all to be happy, so pray that He removes the allergies we have so we can be free. Pray before dinner, then order or cook something that contains the thing you are allergic to. Keep doing this until God decides it is time to remove your allergy. Remember, pain is the cornerstone of growth, so you may go weeks having allergic reactions.
That’s a note: the author has no food allergies. He is allergic to latex, but has had a vasectomy and hates mushrooms.