Meditation for February 26th
The Body is a Temple
To support our mental and spiritual health, we sometimes have to focus on our physical health. Most advice towards those suffering from depression and anxiety is that a little exercise will help lighten the mood. Many in the spiritual journey world are active in yoga, Pilates, Barre, tai chi, ballet, trapeze, and a plethora of other physical activities. Some enjoy hiking, going to the gym, or running. People become concerned that they need to do more for their bodies; they call their bodies the temple, but like the temples themselves, it matters what happens in the temple, not what the outside looks like.
Relax; no matter how much you take care of yourself, you are still going to die. Go ahead and run a marathon, but know that you will probably have shitty knees and will have to commute through the grocery store in a Rascal when you’re older. You are just an endorphin junky or a narcissist.
Many people waste time working on their physical form while ignoring their mental and spiritual development. Ever heard of a dumb jock? This isn’t stereotyping; it is a scientific term for people who prioritize their physical health over other disciplines. People who have trained for marathons have actually shown signs of scientific stupidity. You can’t train to run 26.2 miles and keep up, sharpening your brain. Not possible. The brain is made of fat, so cutting out the fat we ingest and keep is making us dumb.
People say they exercise all the time now because they want to live longer, healthier lives. Still, you just run the risk of drooling on yourself, not knowing your own name, and having someone change your shitty pants for twenty years longer rather than dying when the Gods intended when they made you: 55. The body can only live so long before it just breaks down, and while your body breaks down, your mind will just be as well as you treated it, and you focused all your energy exercising, then there won’t be a lot going on in that mind of yours.
So put down that Under Armour and throw off that Fitbit, you are just wasting your time and killing your personality by going to the gym. You should be going to a trivia at some bar somewhere, eating fried food, and going outside and smoking cigarettes and absorbing intellect and social interactions instead of sweating and walking like you just rode a rhino across the United States every day after visiting a gym.
The body is a temple slated for demo.
Prayer
Adonis,
I know my body isn’t that great,
and I get winded going up three stairs,
and I pulled my back muscle trying to get out of bed to get some more nachos before returning to bed and finishing Magnum PI,
and that I may have all the plates in the house under my bed at the moment,
But maybe you could keep me from turning into a fat naked hamster?
I really have more important things to do than go to the gym,
like Netflix,
Hulu,
Amazon Prime,
Ways to watch things that I’m not comfortable mentioning in a prayer,
eating stuff,
drinking things,
reading books about boy wizards and dudes named Gray who like shades,
Perusing Facebook,
and getting pissed about some people’s reactions to:
Beyoncé,
Bernie,
Trump,
Black People,
Meme of the week,
Grammer,
A cartoon that easily explains the economy,
single payer health insurance,
patriarchy,
religion,
NBA,
NFL,
Kobe is great or not,
People who don’t know who Kobe is,
People are doing every quiz possible,
Being invited to Candy Crush,
The changes in Facebook’s privacy rights and then posting that you don’t give Facebook the rights to your stuff and hope that is good enough because you are too scared to actually do the right thing and leave Facebook and just know that you are missing out unless someone actually remembers to call you and invite you but since you aren’t on Facebook anymore it is out of sight, out of mind, so hopefully just letting Facebook know that your pictures of you in bathrooms and in cars is your property and Facebook can’t use them the next time the United States needs to fake a terrorist plot so that we can get our companies into a foreign country easier,
and kitty cats!
So I need to keep this bodacious bod,
without the use of a gym, running, or buying some weights for the house.
Oh, you introduced Leonardo DiCaprio’s dad bod to the Internet?
Now I can feel guilt-free about not going to the gym.
Thanks, Adonis!
Amen!
Craft
Here are a couple of easy exercises you can do without joining a gym or spending your entire paycheck on exercise gear.
Have a child or seven and chase those little rugrats around without enough to eat and no sleep.
Punch a big person in the face and run.
Stress eats a lot of calories.
Don’t have a car and walk.
Hunt for food with a musket.
Be hunted by Rutger Hauer and Charles S. Dutton through a forest.
When you go to sleep at night, turn up the heat to high, wrap yourself in an electric blanket on high, and wear three pairs of sweatpants, sweatshirts, and two stocking caps. Sweat off that fat.
Social bulimia.
Goal
You don’t need to exercise anymore. We live in a time where our physical bodies are useless. If you were supposed to be fit, you would be a laborer. Your body is the first thing to fail you, so keep your mind sharp instead.
Your body might be slated for demo tomorrow.