Meditation for February 27th
Careers
We are all asked what we will be when we grow up, and as we grow older, we choose paths that lead us to the careers we want. They say that we should do what we love. We should find something that we are good at and focus on that as we grow up. Grown-ups tell us all the time that we can do whatever we want! If you had been paying attention instead of being a dumb, self-centered child, you would have noticed that there are a lot of middle-management positions at insurance companies, and none of your classmates or you said that was what you wanted to be, so only a few of us can have jobs we love.
Even people who love their jobs hate going to work. Show me a dream job (Come on, tropical island tester isn’t a real job), and I’ll show you someone who hates it. People all the time think they can find the perfect job, only to be let down the minute they realize they have to do work. Work sucks. We even do more hours at our jobs now than peasants did working their Lords’ land in the Dark Ages. In fact, most people who have full-time jobs can’t really afford the necessities without the help of credit cards or second jobs.
You can’t do whatever you want. Either that job doesn’t exist, or you just aren’t good enough to do that. You have to pay the bills, so before you try every interesting class at the local community college to find a career path you love and put yourself in student debt that will never be paid back, you have to get a job. Is school even an affordable option for job placement anymore? Some argue no, the debt is too much for the small return on investment.
If you decide to do a job and pursue the artistic thing on the side, remember you are your job when you are at work, not a screenwriter or painter. If you were a real screenwriter, you’d be in Hollywood, and if you were a painter, you’d be at your studio, but instead, you are just a server at a farm-to-table restaurant. You aren’t even a chef or a cook; you are a waiter, so you can’t even pretend to be a food artist. Stop pretending to be a hard-working chef when you bitch about the food industry at some bar on service industry night. You are working for tips, because that is what you are doing this for, the money to help you keep you afloat as you do your “real work”. If you want those tips, you will have to answer whether they can get broccoli on a separate plate instead of fingerling potatoes because potatoes aren’t Paleo, bring out water and drinks and the food, and give them the check when they seem ready to go. This is what a server does – even if they pretend to be an artist at the coffee shop the next day.
You might have to accept that you aren’t going to be an astronaut or a famous playwright. You might have to be happy underwriting car insurance, making coffee drinks, or washing windows. This is the system we have in place, and what we do to make money matters to renting and buying homes, cars, and potential mates. Are we the guy who tends bar two nights a week so we can play guitars the rest of the week, or are we actually working hard for our money?
Prayer
Hephaestus,
I need a job.
I mean, I really need a job.
I have spent the last three weeks perusing Craigslist,
But I couldn’t find a job anywhere.
I mean, there were jobs, but I don’t want to work that far away from the cool part of town,
That one is too corporate,
I don’t do that for work,
I don’t have any experience,
I’ve never done that before, but I’m sure I can’t,
without experience, I want more money an hour,
So I don’t have to work five days a week,
and I can tend my first love,
writing funny daily meditations.
Ananke,
Ugh…
It’s too early to go to work,
I’m going to call in sick.
You guys are going to the river?
I’m going to call in sick.
Oh, shit, what a great show,w and I sure am drunk,
I’m going to call in sick.
I just can’t even.
I’m going to call in sick.
I’m in bed with a total babe,
I’m going to call in sick.
Sorry, I’m late,
Can I go early?
Sorry, I’m late,
Can I get Saturday off?
YOB is playing.
Sorry, I didn’t do any of the things I was supposed to do,
But I was tired.
You never thank me for anything I do,
even though it’s my job to do those things.
I don’t mop.
I don’t clean windows.
I’m scared of the machine.
I never learned that.
We have to do that, really?
When did we start doing that?
When can I go?
It seems slow.
Oh, no!
I don’t have any money?!?
I need to work extra hours!
Sorry, I can’t work today,
I’m playing hacky sack down at the park today.
Amen.
Tarot Reading
Shuffle your tarot deck really well. As you shuffle, meditate on what you want to do with the rest of your life. Know that you must focus because no one likes someone who is lost and perpetually growing up. Shuffle and focus for as long as you feel necessary.
Place five cards across, and then five more cards vertically down the right-hand side of the first row.
Read the cards from left to right, then from bottom to top.
Card one: This is you now
Card two: This is what’s blocking you from finding your career or path
Card three: This is the card that represents when you missed your true calling and now will have to settle for something less moving.
Card four: This is what you want to do
Card five: This is what you will do
Card six: This is you starting your journey
Card seven: This is you fucking up right away
Card eight: This is you fucking up trying to correct your first set of mistakes
Card nine: This is you settling for something you aren’t cut out for and will only work there for a short time before getting fired or getting injured and spending the next five years on disability and addicted to pain pills
Card ten: This is the card that represents you just accepting who and what you are after trying so hard not to be that person.
Goal
Get a job. Work hard at that job. Die.