Meditation for February 5th
Dwarf Life
Dwarves are a gregarious, short, stocky mythological race that first appears in Norse stories. They appear later in J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings and then more prominently in most fantasy epics. They represent the short life fighting spirit of the Vikings of Scandinavia. Sometimes we spend a lot of time in spiritual life trying to capture the essence of the wise elves and not enough time singing war songs like the dwarves. We don’t live in an ageless and communal society like the elves; we live in a dark, industrial, work-forward society where we toil in the mines until we are too physically weak to go on.
The first thing to remember is that Dwarves have long, resentful memories. It doesn’t matter that something happened several centuries ago to your family; you hold those people responsible today. These might also be the great-grandkids of those who harmed your great-grandparent, but it is as if it were done to you by them. You don’t trust them, and you try to turn others against them with your stories of their sin. You cross your arms and glare at the person who represents your disdain. You might not fight that person aggressively, but you’ll make them feel unloved.
Dwarves love to fight, drink, and sing songs. When the world is just dark and labor, what else is there to live for? While they can’t dance to save their lives due to their huge feet, they can sing fight anthems, sorrowful arias that were composed from deep in the earth, and drunken brawl songs where most of the words are spat, splattering all over your face.
Shaving and bathing are low on the priority list, but knowing how to find your way in the dark, make battle-axes, shields, bier steins, and intricately designed boxes – lots of Celtic knots and tribals. Dwarves love to work hard and are proud of what they create with their own hands, but they also love to play hard and are proud of their ability to fight, drink, and love more deeply than anyone else. Again, with nothing to live for, why not play as hard as you work?
Dwarves are not magical beings like their surface-dwelling cousins, the Elves. They disdain the use of magic, but they can make their crafts magical with the use of Runes and Wards. This is supposedly the first alphabet protected by the Dwarves deep underground. Magic is not in nature, but in craft. Dwarves find their whole purpose in life in what they do for a living, rather than lazing around, making art, playing music, and gaining knowledge, as the Elves do.
How do you capture the essence of Dwarf Life? Work hard, and you deserve to play hard. You are proud of your accomplishments, and if someone crosses you, beat the goddamned shit out of that person. Also, sell your house and move underground.
Prayer
O Vala Aule!
Hear my mighty roar!
With ale and mead pouring out of Rams’ horns,
I will fight any motherfucker in the room.
Hear my mighty song!
I sing to the clinging of hammers on anvils,
So I may get to the bar!
Hear my mighty grunt!
As I bed all the ladies,
who have beards as long as mine!
Craft
Move your Bar-B-Que into your bathroom. Get the coals going nice and hot while you find a piece of iron ore. Heat the iron ore on your BBQ until it’s white-hot. Dip the piece into your toilet bowl to cool the metal, then place it on your bathroom counter and start hammering it to shape it into a point. Repeat in fire if the piece becomes hard to shape. Take a lump of iron ore and heat itas you did the long bar piece before. This one, you want to shape into a rectangle, with a hole right through the middle. Now take both pies, and reheat them, and place the bar through the hole of the rectangle. Reheat the metal and create runes using a chisel. Be creative with your runes! Think of magical wards and symbols, and try to recreate those on your brand new battle hammer!
Goal
Stop living like you’ll have plenty of time like an elf. The time is now: work hard, fight hard, and play hard. Do your work with a strong song and don’t let anyone who wrongs you ever forget it. Stop living in the sun and bury yourself deep underground where the earth is cool and moist like a rocky womb. Eat everything like it’s the best meal you had in your life. Never wipe off your muddy boots when you enter a homebody’s home. Never try to win an argument with logic and rational thought, but with your big ham fists. When you drink, always slosh your cup around and sing at the top of your lungs. Never walk away from a fight, a job, or love.