Meditation for February 20th
Getting Ahead
One of the reasons people turn to meditation and spiritual practices is that they want to strengthen themselves and help achieve goals. There are different reasons meditation helps attain goals, and sometimes it won’t help at all. Ambitious people are always looking for an edge, and meditation is looked at as a way to hack our brains for success. While meditation has humble beginnings in which we try to connect with the divine and learn compassion, it has evolved in our late-capitalist world. How can meditating help you with your objectives today? What do you focus on when you want something?
The one true thing is that if you want something, you can’t be nice about it. That’s right, if you have a goal, and that goal is your number one priority, then you will have to walk over others to get it. One doesn’t have time to listen to why someone hurt feelings when one is trying to take over the fashion industry or become the best Irish Jigger in the U.S. Feet must be stepped on – sometimes literally when it comes to dancing the jig. The United States didn’t get the kick-ass economy by being nice to people. In fact, all we have and will have has been from climbing over others.
Nice guys do finish last. People are always jacking their thumbs at Warren Buffett and Bill Gates for spending all their riches on others, but they had to steamroll others to get those billions in the first place. Assholes are going to achieve goals better than nice people, unless being a meek mannered dude having trouble getting his pony tail up into a top knot at the end of yoga class and wonder if following Cindy to the food co-op and wow her with his knowledge of lychee fruit or follow Sara with no H to the coffee shop and try to talk her into posing for his photography, but in the end still just going home alone to eat pasta with no sauce is someone’s idea of success.
So stop trying to be a nice person and fuck others over, if you want success, success is from winning and winning means there are losers, and losers are people that didn’t want to fuck others over.
Prayer
Mars,
my enemies are everyone that is not I.
Bless my sword,
for I will vanquish all in my path.
I will fall armies with a single spear,
decimate citadels with my bare hands,
and dominate war mages with my steely stare.
I will not fail.
I will run this half-marathon,
and all will know I did it,
for I will tell people,
and I will have a 13.1 sticker on my Subaru…
As I drive through the blood of those who don’t run, for they are the real enemy.
Thor, but probably Loki,
I don’t like this person.
I don’t think I can fight this person in a duel,
And duels are illegal, unfortunately.
I need to destroy this person.
I can’t stop dreaming of doing horrible things to this person every night.
Give me the know-how to talk shit behind this person’s back.
Give me the power to change people’s opinion about this person.
Isolate.
Spread rumors so that this person’s very job security is at stake,
The relationship becomes rocky,
Social standing is suspect.
May I sound like a concerned person,
someone who wants everyone to understand,
even sound like I sympathize with this piece of shit,
but let me destroy this person’s self-esteem, personal relationships, security, sexual relationships, and ambitions.
May I leave scorched earth with nothing more than Survivor, the TV show type drama?
Amen.
Craft
Booby traps are a way to protect you, your family, and your property. Booby traps not only slow down your enemy, but also channel them into kill boxes, humiliate the trespasser, and act as an alarm to let you know there are barbarians at the gates.
Trip wires can trigger an alarm or bring a heavy item to fall on your assailant. The key is to find a wire that is hard to see but strong enough to trip a grown adult. You can have the wire bring a branch around to slap the person in the face, or bring two huge logs to meet in the middle – the person’s head.
Pit traps are ways to really slow down an assault on your house. The challenge is camouflaging the pit and deciding whether to put spikes at the bottom. I like fire ants personally, but I’m a sick bastard. You can either place weak sticks across the pit or make a leverage system.
Once you figure out how to channel the perpetrator, you can make them arrive at kill boxes where you and your family are armed, a trap room that fills with gas, water, or spiders.
Sometimes just making something look like a booby trap is enough to ward off unwanted visitors and government lackeys. Just leaving a lunch box with some red and green wires hanging out can make a person jump to conclusions.
If the person overpowers your property and makes it your home, this is where I look to survivalist celebrity, Kevin McCallister, for inspiration:
Petroleum jelly on the kitchen tile
A giant punching glove on a spring behind a door
A bucket full of water and another bucket full of flour on top of a door slightly ajar
Plastic wrap the toilets for optimum splash
Legos and a sign that says ” Please take off shoes
Before escaping, stuff a chicken and or a fish into a gallon of milk and leave it in the ducts in case the conquerors stay a long time.
Goal
If you want to be on top, you’re going to have to claw, fight, pull hair, and bite your way. You can’t wait for others to respect your boundaries when you should be making them redefine their own. You ignore any handicaps you have and focus on others’. If you find a person’s Achilles’ heel, you focus your thermal nuclear devices on it. You can’t be seen as a crybaby, so kill anyone who knows or suspects that you are sensitive. It is more important to make money than to be happy, so don’t think you can have both. Happiness is for hippies, socialists, and Democrats, and those are weak and stupid.