Meditation for December 12th
Reverse Murder
I find myself watching law school documentaries such as CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI: NY, Law & Order, Law & Order: SVU, Law & Order: Criminal Intent, NCIS, NCIS: LA, NCIS: Hawai’i, NCIS, Sydney, NCIS: New Orleans, Bones, and Psych, and a lot of the endings are a person exclaiming how it was all an accident and as they shook them to make them understand, they fell and split their head on the corner of an IKEA Regissör coffee table.
Then they ran. They were scared. They tried to cover up the murder, learning all they could from the same crime documentaries I stated above, but forgot one compelling clue that allows the law to arrest the right person.
What if some murders were decriminalized? I mean, the only reason the dumb kid ran after sniveling and watching his girlfriend’s brain ooze onto the IKEA Lobbäk throw rug is the fact that murder is illegal.
Murder leads to:
- Prison time
- Loss of voting rights in most states
- Fines & resitution
- Inability to get a good job
- Heck of a time finding housing
- PTSD from prison
- Making friends on the outside
- Guilt and remorse
- Not feeling any guilt or remorse
Why should trying to make a person understand and shaking that person too hard lead to the same outcome as a gang member killing someone over a crack cocaine selling territory?
It shouldn’t. Prison is full of misunderstood people who, in turn, misunderstood what the right thing to do was when it was covered in blood splattered all over the IKEA Lillången bathroom mirror.
Let’s face it, the police haven’t been the most trustworthy law enforcement. Agency. They seem like extortionists from pre-World War II movies rather than a fraternity of those who serve to protect. They can’t actually deter murder; all they can do is punish the person afterwards, and has that actually worked in lowering murder cases? Then they come swooping in, shooting first and asking questions later. Maybe running out the back door as the body oozes liver blackened blood all over the IKEA Söderhamn sofa is the best decision after all.
Unless we decriminalize these often mistaken murders, they are just slightly less awful than ye old vehicular manslaughter, so maybe come up with a new crime that lessens the threat of life in prison or the death penalty.
The chance of accidental murder, or reverse murder as I like to call it, of turning a person into a serial killer is 0.00000045%. Most often, the scenario is regret and complete self-hate.
Lastly, how much taxpayer money are we going to spend on crime forensic investigations, equipment, specialists, manpower, and all the other expenses required to solve a crime that, f the punishment wasn’t so terrible, could be solved in the first seven minutes of a crime TV show? Hell, the cops could still be standing around the still-warm body hehemorrhaging blood onto the IKEA Ekerö chair when the guilty person says, “Wh… I didn’t mean to.” Still, she didn’t understand, so I shook her, and she fell and busted her head open on the corner of that IKEA Hemnes desk. I am so sorry. Then the cop writes a $1000 ticket and calls it a day.
Case closed.
Prayer
Thor,
Please keep my loved ones’ heads,
Away from the sharp corners of my Ikea furniture.
Sometimes I get excited,
And I don’t want them to fall,
And bust their head open,
Bleeding all over my throw pillows,
And then I have to explain,That’st my fantasy league starting quarterback,
Needs to run the ball,
Instead of throwing picks.
Amen.
Craft
Maybe you don’t have a baby, but it doesn’t hurt to try, and baby-proof your house so that accidental murders don’t happen. Make sure your corners are softened by putting on bumpers. Make sure you keep your toaster away from your bath, and maybe don’t have any stairs.
Goal
Yes, I am arguing for more of a murder hierarchy by saying that accidental deaths that people first try to cover up and hide, but end up getting caught by a wisecracking detective who is also a bit eccentric, or on the spectrum if it’s a newer detective.