On January 11th, 2016, I started a daily practice of writing a joke meditation of the day called Cracked Pot Meditations. I was still recovering from the treatment of cancer, and I was having very challenging cognitive issues, so I chose just to put something simple and easy to write every day. Posting it to the blog allowed me to have some accountability. Some of those meditations were poorly written and unedited. I have gone back and begun editing these and adding an illustration, starting with the April 27th meditation. I hope you enjoy.
Meditation for July 12th
Small is good enough
To stay connected with the community, I worked as a barista at a local grocery store (This was in 2016, now I humble myself and work at a medium-sized regional health insurance company). I don’t have to because I take in a lot of money running and operating this meditation practice, but if I were to focus my whole time, I would lose my ability to relate to the ordinary person. I make coffee drinks of all kinds for many different people. Here is what I’ve learned.
Bigger is better!
In most cases, this is not true. When people make cookies and they make them big, the ingredients are spread across a wider area, and the taste isn’t as compact and powerful as a smaller cookie.
If you choose a 20-oz latte, you’re getting a lot of steamed milk with a bit of espresso, which doesn’t taste as good as a smaller, more balanced latte. You’re just going to be shitting like a baby after consuming a 20-oz latte.
You could add more shots, but you are again sacrificing taste. You’ll then be shitting like a naked baby in a hurricane mixed with an earthquake.
Many people think espresso is packed with caffeine and that is the purpose of its existence, but it has around a third of the caffeine of a regular 12-oz cup of coffee. Its purpose is to be made and consumed quickly without losing flavor. There is this meditation of standing in a train station in Rome or Florence, Italy and standing at the bar and knocking back a small shot of espresso and have the flavor light up every category on your tongue watching the crowds swirl around you is this small tiny piece of pure luxury that can’t be enjoyed in a drive thru coffee donut place where the drink is 20-ounces and full of milk and sugar syrups.
Quantity over quality
People are always looking for a deal. They want a lot for very little. Nowadays, people expect it – feel entitled to it. They will buy the big package of single-ply generic toilet paper instead of the four-pack of triple-ply, extra-absorbent/extra-soft toilet paper.
Unfortunately, they bought a 20oz latte and wipe and wipe and wipe and wipe and…if they had the more expensive kind, they wouldn’t be dealing with a raw bum.
Before the popularization of fast fashion and the rise of disposable incomes, people would buy one expensive suit or dress. This was to be worn at any special occasion, the same suit or dress. If it got any wear and tear, the spot would be fixed instead of buying a new piece of clothing. Love and care went into this outfit because it was for weddings, funerals, court cases, and dates. Now we are buying our thousandth outfit for going to a Beyoncé theme karaoke night at the club.
It’s like the expensive kind!
It’s not. Most of the time, the cheaper one is made cheaply, so it’ll break and won’t work as well as the leading brand one.
You can buy a PROFLO PF1400HEBS toilet for $23.95. After purchasing a bunch of 20-oz lattes and off-the-dollar menu items at Taco Bell, you might find that the PROFLO isn’t down with the task at hand. Get yourself a Toto CST744S-01 Drake Two Piece toilet for $207.38, and shit with a clear mind. On a Toto Drake, you’ll get the shit squeezed out of you while you can spend time meditating or working on your breathing exercises.
The old philosophy is to pay a lot now for quality or pay less now and keep paying over and over again to replace the junk.
Bigger is better II
We love going into a breakfast place and getting a five-egg omelette with sausage, cheddar, and bacon in it, a side of hash browns, a biscuit covered in chunky southern white gravy, a thick slab of pit-roasted ham, and a cup of coffee. But if you think about it, it just makes you stuffed, and the meal was mediocre at best.
You don’t have to eat all that. You could have had a bagel, cream cheese, lox, capers, and a red onion, along with a shot of espresso, and be much more satisfied with the taste and still be satiated.
And since you have some cheap ass toilet that can barely flush water, but you have a roll of thin rice paper that won’t clean anything up, and maybe spear little pieces of paper on your leg hairs, you’ll regret eating the huge breakfast.
Prayer
Nang Khosop,
There used to be just one rice
Then you were cut up into little pieces,
And now there are lots of different kinds of rice.
Is the world better with that many options?
Would the world be better if you were put back together?
And there was just one kind of rice?
Just a little rice,
Can feed so many.
It can be eaten by itself,
Or be the hand that holds a variety of recipes.
Please let me remember the humble satisfaction
of a small bowl of rice.
Amen
Craft
Instead of buying the huge sugary drink from the drive-thru, please take a moment to walk into a cafe that proudly serves its coffee and espresso. If you have a coffee fan friend, ask them for recommendations.
Order just the espresso.
When you get it, don’t sit down, stay standing at the bar.
Smell the espresso.
For the first sip, slurp it, as in make the funny sound usually associated with soup.
Let the liquid sit on your tongue. Swirl it around.
Swallow and wait for the aftertaste
Think of any flavor notes you notice while doing this.
Before taking your next sip, take a small sip of sparkling water to cleanse the palate.
Repeat.
A couple of things to remember: espresso, like wine, will taste differently depending on its origin or the variety of beans. You might want to try different kinds to see if there is one that works for you. A good beginner is an Ethiopian, which is the birthplace of coffee, and has a very noticeable blueberry tasting note.
If you need to have a little more luxury, then order the machiatto, which is going to be different than a Starbucks or drive-thru coffee, it is just the espresso “marked” with milk. If you want a little more milk, then the cortado is an excellent choice.
Goal
In a world where bigger and cheaper is better, know that we are sacrificing taste and quality. Don’t be afraid to wear the same suit or dress to every special occasion you go to.