Cracked Pot Meditations – Spiritual Streaking

Meditation for January 30th

Spiritual Streaking

In Christian mythology, God made Adam and Steve naked, and they were fine until that wild child Lilith talked Steve into eating the Fruit of Knowledge. He, in turn, talked Adam into taking a bite himself, causing them to feel bloated and ugly and try to cover up before that hunk of celestial stuff, God, walked by. That was the beginning of body shame and getting dressed up in weirdly colored fabrics. Over the centuries, the majority have fought with the minority over covering oneself up. The minority keeps winning. We have to cover ourselves up or face incarceration.

Well, I say no more! Let there be a pile of clothes by your feet as you reenact the Captain Morgan with one foot up on a barrel of rum, completely naked! These are the bodies we were made in God’s likeness! He doesn’t rule the heavens in skinny jeans and a denim vest with a Danava patch sewn on! He’s naked in all His glory. What do you think he stirs up galaxies with?

It’s not body shame, it’s not being used to being without clothes that makes us unsure of our bodies. Even when we shower, Lilith comes out of the showerhead as steam, obscuring the mirror and making it hard to see what is truly beautiful: you!

Why are people spending all this time in gyms, working out, and eating right if they are going to be covered up? If you spend all that time sculpting that bod, you should show us everything! Why are people waxing body hair to only show one or two people? Let us see that expensive Brazilian! Maybe it’s the covering up and modesty that is making people perverted.

So let those boobies, bushes, wings, tummies, cellulite, and flesh hang loose! Who cares what others think because they are more scared than you are about their own bodies? Our saints are the strippers and the porn stars! Will Ferrell from the movie Old School is our Prophet! Naked is our prayer and our sacrifice to She/He/It who rules the universe in the nude.

Prayer

Owner of the Tree of Knowledge,

Take back this piece of fruit,

so that I may stand on this planet in the buff,

with the wind blowing across my chest,

and through my groin.

Whatsyourname,

allow me the power,

to love my beautiful body.

That’s all my scars, folds, and hangouts

is beautiful,

and SEXXXY!

And also take back free will, shame, and the ability to know the difference between right and wrong, which also came from biting the fruit.

Amen.

Craft

Some of us are very timid, so the idea of just going willy-nilly nude all over the place may take a little time. I think crocheting a body suit with a huge-gauge needle. That way, skin is shown, but patches of skin will show through. Start with the body suit and then work your way down to the bikini (bikinis are for men too, sexist), covering just the groin and nips, and then just a crocheted loincloth.

Goal

Be naked. Don’t have sex like Eisenhower, through the peephole of his pajama bottom under covers in the dark, but like animals, sweaty, sticky, naked, and with the lights on and the curtains open, or better yet, outside under the sun.

Be nude. Don’t just have a cigarette or scroll Facebook on your break at work, take your clothes off and let your skin breathe! Take a break from the cotton, the rayon, the velour, and the wool panties and let the elements have their way with your epidermis.

Naked hiking is all the rage here in Portland, Oregon. Get out there and see this beautiful world the way nature intended, with your whole body showing. All you really need is a fanny pack, and the world is yours.

You can start at nude-sanctioned beaches and run around in your sunglasses, fanny pack, and floats on your arms.