Meditation for November 27th
The Giant Panda is Stupid
The Giant Panda is the dumbest animal ever. It might be cute, but it is an idiot.
A Giant Panda is a carnivore, but instead of eating meat like its digestive system is made for, these giant dumb dumbs eat fucking bamboo. Bamboo!
While some idiot hippies will tell you how beneficial a vegan diet is, the Giant Panda doesn’t have the energy to even fuck and make more Giant Pandas. Their stupid diet is costing them the survival of their species.
Human involvement is the only reason these brainless “bears” survive. Most Panda babies are born in captivity, and only because of artificial insemination. If humans didn’t stick their noses in other animal businesses all the fucking time, Giant Pandas would be instinct.
Nature really failed in creating the Giant Panda. God was really lacking His usual omnipresence and omnipotence when He was in the workshop fucking around and making Panda bears.
This is proof that some people exist who are completely worthless and are actually unable to survive without other people’s involvement. Nature, or God, isn’t going to fucking sort it out.
This also says that the weak can survive just as well as the strong, as long as some are codependent.
Prayer
My Creator,
Am I a spearhead of your ever-advancing creation,
Or am I a mistake?
Was I supposed to be equipped with alcoholism, depression, anxiety, anger, and cancer?
Am I supposed to have diarrhea anytime I make the slightest change to my diet?
Am I supposed never to feel like I’m awake?
Am I supposed to doubt my reality and wonder if this is one gigantic cosmic nightmare of an accident, and if the whole existing thing is a fraud?
Let me know. Am I a Panda?
Amen
Craft
Take a cottonball and a black felt marker. Put two dots side by side and then, between those dots, but just a little lower, another dot. You just made a panda bear!
Goal
The next time someone talks about the earth being perfect as proof of an ever-loving god, point out genetic diseases, cancer, and panda bears.