Meditation for January 6th
Chinese Zodiac Sexagenary Cycle
We are well acquainted with the Chinese zodiac and the different animals. I was born in 1976, the year of the Dragon. What is auspicious about that particular year, and what makes me even more special than most people, is that I was also born in the year of the Fire Dragon. So it’s one thing to be born a dragon, it’s a much better thing to be born a Fire Dragon instead of a Wood, Water, Earth, or Metal Dragon (though a Metal Dragon is pretty tough).
There is a cycle of 60 of these signs. I will break down each one and include some dates so you can figure out how to act in public.
1924 & 1984 Wood Rat
These resourceful rodents are growers, not showers, so don’t take the first night of seeing them naked as what they are, for they will grow, like a tree, right in front of your eyes—ambitious about food and garbage, but not about prestige.
1925 & 1985 Wood Ox
You’ve heard the saying, dumb as an ox, right? You probably heard dumb as a log as well? Well, that is this sign.
1926 & 1986 Fire Tiger
These angry, rageful demons don’t need any of your help, for tigers are solitary creatures, so all you can hope is that it doesn’t notice you and gets pissed.
1927 & 1987 Fire Rabbit
While the fire in the last year means anger, this is more like the rabbit bouncing everywhere, trying to find a bucket of water to sit in, causing the water to sizzle and the rabbit to sigh with relief. You can’t keep up with a Fire Rabbit.
1928 & 1988 Earth Dragon. Please stay away from these mythological lizards because they always want to show you an investment. A lot of crypto bros were born during this sign.
1929 & 1989 Earth Snake
While the year before was about trying to sell you on crypto, these were the guys trying to get you to invest in NFTs. Remember the pictures of apes in human clothing? Yeah, these guys lost a bunch of money on that.
1930 &1990 Metal Horse
They are good-looking, well put together, and you see them all the time, whether it’s in real life or online, but you couldn’t really say you actually know them. They are beautiful, artistic vessels, but empty.
1931 & 1991 Metal Goat
Get ready to be harshly judged by a metal goat. These stubborn, metallic, horned creatures always want the world to bend to their will. They will tell you how you are doing your relationship, your job, and plain living wrong.
1932 & 1992 Water Monkey
Do you have a coworker who seems to be drowning all the time? That is probably a Water Monkey. They can’t manage their time, stay productive, and, even with the best intentions, will fuck up a basic task.
1933 & 1993 Water Cock
Even if this person were to get a vasectomy or the tubes tied, there would still be a pregnancy. Either this person is very fertile, or they need babies to define their whole personality.
1934 & 1994 Wood Dog
These are small dogs that are shivering and scared of everyone and everything. Don’t expect too much other than some loud barking from these nervous wrecks.
1935 & 1995 Wood Pig
This stubborn son of a bitch will always be trying to prove they are right. They are usually wrong. They make great cops.
1936 & 1996 Fire Rat
These little shits have no control whatsoever. They will try to get what they want, when they want, anyway they can get it. This includes fucking you over. Don’t let these guys near drugs, or you will lose them forever.
1937 &1997 Fire Ox
These giant oafs are selfish and self-centered. Most of the time, they will only talk to you if they want something. If you have nothing to say, you will be left on read. Keep these guys at arm’s length or more away.
1938 & 1998 Earth Tiger
Now we have ourselves an angry business person. They are always blaming others for their financial pitfalls. Usually a Republican because they love blaming others rather than taking personal responsibility.
1939 & 1999 Earth Rabbit
These little freaks are always in debt because they love spending money, money they don’t have, and money that isn’t theirs. Probably owes you money.
1940 & 2000 Metal Dragon
These are show-offs.
1941 & 2001 Metal Snake
These slithering coils of metal are really full of themselves. You will not be talking in any conversation with these folks; they will talk about themselves the whole time.
1942 & 2002 Water Horse
Get ready to tell these horses that you don’t hate them repeatedly. These are the most overthinking group in the zodiac. They will think a thing to death, and then some.
1943 & 2003 Water Goat
Maybe more of a sheep than a goat since they don’t do well being in charge and would rather have someone take charge than make a decision. Infuriating to try to find a restaurant with.
1944 & 2004 Wood Monkey
Wood monkeys are always driving fast and recklessly because they are always late somewhere. If they are not dead from being in an auto fatality, they are tapping their foot, waiting for stuff impatiently.
1945 & 2005 Wood Cock
Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh
1946 & 2006 Fire Dog
Here are the people who love to spout theories without any backing resources. You will have a hard time believing that these dogs live in the same reality as the rest of us. More like Year of the Flat Earth, amirite?
1947 & 2007 Fire Pig
You will find these pigs very perplexed by problem-solving that might require out-of-the-box thinking. They are not flexible in their ethics and morals, so anytime finesse is needed, these aren’t your people. They, as funny as this might sound, make great cops.
1948 & 2008 Earth Rat
Some people call it pessimism, but these rats would call it realism. They will have a very critical eye on how others do things and will have a lot to say about it.
1949 & 2009 Earth Ox
There is mansplain, and then there is oxsplain. These know-it-alls will fill the room with their knowledge and conceited confidence. They will always try to be the boss, even if they aren’t.
1950 & 2010 Metal Tiger
You might have the best advice for these tigers, but they won’t take it; they will drown before being taught how to swim by someone.
1951 & 2011 Metal Rabbit
While full of energy, these bunnies don’t like change at all and will make it known. Even if they are very young, they will tearfully look back, waxing nostalgic for maybe one day last year, and hate everything since.
1952 & 2012 Water Dragon
These fire breathers will nitpick every detail to the detriment of friendships and a good time. Not one for having a good sense of humor, these dragons are too serious and need all the details. Please don’t do business with them.
1953 & 2013 Water Snake
These slithering little fellas are really concerned about what others think of them. If anything is less than a glowing review, these snakes will slither into a dark hole and never return.
1954 & 2014 Wood Horse
Super impulsive, and they have low impulse control, so they will make decisions and say stuff without any thought at all.
1955 & 2015 Wood Goat
Wood Goats hate their lives and themselves. They might actually be good people with good lives, but they don’t think so, and you won’t be able to tell them otherwise.
1956 & 2016 Fire Monkey
These are the monkeys that never grow up. These Peter Pans will do anything to keep playing and take no responsibility.
1957 & 2017 Fire Cock
The one thing these fire cocks do is not take constructive criticism well. Even the most minor comment on how they do something will send these cocks into a downward spiral.
1958 & 2018 Earth Dog
These dogs have never been in a good mood ever. You can try to get them out of their bad moods, but it won’t work. They are grumps.
1959 & 2019 Earth Pig
These pigs have no imagination and a bad temper, so again, they make great cops.
1960 & 2020 Metal Rat
The Metal Rat sounds tough, but actually, these rats are all cowards. You’ll never know that they are mad at you.
1961 & 2021 Metal Ox
Uber conservative due to their inability to adapt to change, the metal ox is also very introverted, so no one born in this year is liked at all.
1962 & 2022 Water Tiger
These tigers are super snobby. Whatever their interests are, they act as the gatekeeper, and as a tiger, they are a formidable gatekeeper. Get ready to stand up for your passions.
1963 &2023 Water Rabbit
These little hoppers are dumb as fuck. They are naive and will fall for anything. Gotta time share to sell? Find a water rabbit.
1964 & 2024 Wood Dragon
Perfectionists, and that is not a compliment.
1965 & 2025 Wood Snake
If things don’t go their way, they will slither away. Things have to be easy, or these snakes don’t want any part of it.
1966 & 2026 Fire Horse
Hot temper and stubbornness of an ass. Not a good mixture.
1967 & 2027 Fire Goat
These sheep will agree with every single emotion they have and act on them as fact. They do not know what rational thought is.
1968 & 2028 Earth Monkey
They will not take anything they aren’t a master of seriously. They will take everything as a joke, unless it’s about them, then they cry and run away.
1969 & 2029 Earth Cock
The Earth Cock will always be on the newest trend, trying to stay relevant. If an Earth Cock is on to the trend, this is the sign that the trend is on its way out. Don’t tell them that, though, their whole personality is being trendy.
1970 & 2030 Metal Dog
These unstable mutts will suffer from severe mood swings. Maybe happy and manic for a bit, and then suddenly sad and sullen. Be careful, for when they explode in anger, they will take anyone near them down with them.
1971 & 2031 Metal Pig
These hogs are lazy and like to do things the most straightforward way, so again, they make great cops.
1972 & 2032 Water Rat
These weak-minded rats are drowning and don’t have any plans to get out of the water. They lack the ambition to save themselves.
1973 & 2033 Water Ox
These irritable oxen are constantly frustrated. They don’t like doing the most mundane tasks, and they hate being asked to do them. Not great communicators either.
1974 & 2034 Wood Tiger
It’s wild how little one zodiac year can care about others. It’s not like they are fucking other people over, they just don’t know other people exist, really.
1975 &2035 Wood Rabbit
Super cranky, especially when they feel misunderstood. They feel lonely and unique in the world, even if they aren’t.
1976 & 2036 Fire Dragon
These flighty characters will never be reliable in how they deal with the world. These dragons are hard to nail down and understand, for they are reacting to everything instead of responding.
1977 & 2037 Fire Snake
These slithering snakes will give up at the slightest challenge. They are weak and whiny about it.
1978 & 2038 Earth Horse
These horses will never admit to their mistakes. They will go down with the ship rather than accept an error.
1979 & 2039 Earth Goat
These sentimental idiots won’t give up on anything from their childhood, even if it was terrible. They will be stuck forever worshipping one summer of their life, missing their whole life.
1980 & 2040 Metal Monkey
These little fuckers love playing little tricks on people, and not the fun kind that is funny, but mean, malicious jokes, because these monkeys are bullies.
1981 & 2041 Metal Cock
Dumb. Just really dumb idiots.
1982 & 2042 Water Dog
Moody and stubborn, almost as if they like being sad all the time. You won’t be able to get these dogs out of their little ruts; they aren’t going to budge out of what they already know, melancholy.
1983 & 2043 Water Pig
These pigs are easily influenced and won’t know they made any mistakes until there are enormous real consequences, so again, a great cop.
Meditation for January 6th
Year of the Fire Cock
On January 28th, the Chinese will celebrate a new year and welcome the year of the Fire Cock.
This will be a very auspicious year for everyone, but the people born in the previous year of the Cocks.
You will feel the heat in you to begin new projects, create new things, and start new businesses. Be careful not to go too fast, or that nasty Fire Cock will burn you.
People who are born in years of the cock tend to have a great sense of humor. Just be careful because your jokes might have a little extra fire on them. You might be slapping your Fire Cock wit across a friend’s face.
This is a great year to practice honesty. Just be careful not to spray honesty out of your Fire Cock sign when it can do more harm than good.
You might find yourself more extroverted this year because being in the Fire Cock sign makes one step out of their comfort zone more. Hold on to that Fire Cock enthusiasm for more social interactions.
This year might find you working harder than ever and striving for perfection. Rub on that Fire Cock magic, and you might find yourself being rewarded for your hard work.
Sometimes, when in a professional group, you might have to be careful not to try to prove who has the biggest Fire Cock attitude.
The year of the Fire Cock will put looks over all else in the romantic realm. Cocks love to strut their stuff and ruffle feathers.
Cocks should never date other Cocks. Date any other sign but other Cocks. Cocks only know how to Cock fight, and in the year of the Fire Cock, the Cock fight could get violent.
This is a year of passion and sexual energies, so use that to your advantage, but be careful of stuffing your Fire Cock where it doesn’t belong.
Well, kids, get out there and party. This is gonna be a hot year. Surround yourself with Fire Cock social situations and stay away from Cock fights.