Cracked Pot Meditations – Being Nice to Yourself

On January 11th, 2016, I started a daily practice of writing a joke meditation of the day called Cracked Pot Meditations. I was still recovering from the treatment of cancer, and I was having very challenging cognitive issues, so I chose just to put something simple and easy to write every day. Posting it to the blog allowed me to have some accountability. Some of those meditations were poorly written and unedited. I have gone back and begun editing these and adding an illustration, starting with the April 27th meditation. I hope you enjoy.

Meditation for April 28^th

Being Nice to Yourself

There are a million pictures of oceans and mountains with mantras written over them, saying things like, “The very best thing you can do for the world is to make the most of yourself. Love yourself first, so you know what you deserve.” When you start seeing your worth, you’ll find it harder to stay around people who don’t. People are trying to learn to love themselves and treat themselves nicely. They gravitate towards self-empowering movements like Buddhism and yoga.

Self-care is selfish bullshit. If you are working so hard on yourself, you miss out on being a person in the world. If you think that you can’t be a person in the world without learning how to be nice to yourself, then you are probably a selfish privileged asshole. A lot of us don’t have a choice but to interact with people.

People spend millions a year on themselves and making themselves feel better. Either they use drugs or some selfish self-care hocus pocus like yoga, spas, or self-help movements. It is just another religion. Suppose you really can’t stand yourself without all of the cheesedick sayings and therapeutic mumbo-jumbo. In that case, you are probably never going to get better, but learn to fake being a nice person. You find yourself only able to be well in comfortable, safeguarded environments.

The rest of us must get along the best we can without removing ourselves from normal society because we can’t cut it. We have to put up with you and all the assholes you are afraid of every day. Neither are you easy to deal with. We have to listen to how you need the whole world to change their ways for you to be happier, or you need to up your yoga classes.

Guess what? You can always say memorable quotes and mantras to yourself, put up posters all over your room, and post positive messages all over Facebook. The truth is, the minute someone steps on your toes, you will be at square zero, an emotional mess, unable to deal with life on life’s terms. You can only be nice to yourself if you aren’t just trying to get by.

Good luck being true to yourself while stepping on our toes to do it.

Prayer

Dear Buddha,

Me me me me me me me,

Amen.

Craft

A sparkly jar to remind you how special and unique you are.

Items needed

Mason jar

Funnel

Glitter glue

Chunky and fine glitter

Food coloring

Step 1

Pour one cup of hot water into a jar

Put one tablespoon of glitter into the water

Whisk to break up the clumps

Step B

Pour about ½ to an inch of fine glitter into the bottom

Fill the jar with more hot water

Leave an inch of space at the top for shaking room

Step Three

Add the chunkier glitter and food coloring

Experiment with the different colors

You can add other glittery items if desired

And then,

Put on the lid and then shake!

Watch the tornadoes of glitter and color!

Now see how much you and this jar of glittery vortexes are similar? Yes, you are both nothing but sparkling color, and nothing of value.

Goal

Loving yourself is selfish. Stop wasting our time being so concerned about yourself and help someone who actually needs it.

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