Meditation for September 7th, 2016
Don’t Blamd Me! Mercury Is In Retrograde!
Mercury is in retrograde. It’ll be like this for another week. People’s entire fortune and outcomes are affected by Mercury appearing to go backwards.
Aries
You are just going to be a complete jerk to everyone you talk to. Just shut the fuck up.
Taurus
You’re gonna spend all your money on dumb shit. Lose the cards before you start a lame expensive hobby like drones or vaping.
Gemini
Uh. . . Um . . . Er . . . Don’t talk, you idiot. Wait till October to express yourself.
Cancer
You know all those chores and tasks you want to do? Don’t. You’ll just fuck it up badly.
Leo
Oh did people hurt your feelings so you bought something new? Stop buying your way out of sensitivity.
Virgo
Nothing will work at your job and your coworkers are all asses. Quit.
Libra
You don’t know what you like, so stop trying to choose things. Just take the worse thing, you don’t deserve any better.
Scorpio
Stop telling us everything. The more you talk the worse we feel about you.
Sagittarius
Don’t travel or you will fucking die.
Capricorn
Don’t move or you will lose everything. Don’t trespass or you will fucking be shot.
Aquarius
Consider yourself dumped, you worthless piece of shit.
Pisces
Remember all that art you fucking do? Well you can’t do it anymore, you’re creativity is gone.
And remember, it’s not your fault – it’s Mercury.