Meditation for July 6th, 2016
How To Act Like A Real Person Around Real People In Real Life
Sometimes we have to go out and be among people. This means that we will have to interact and maybe even have conversations with people. Small talk is hard and doesn’t lead to anything, so why not try and have a meaningful conversation and connection.
Here are some ways you can help yourself be a real person around real people in real life:
Act Like You’re Supposed To Be There
You are supposed to be at the party, in this city, at the job you’re at, with the people you’re with. You are at exactly where you’re supposed to be. You don’t have to believe it, just act like it. The only way you can get someone’s attention is to act like a confident dick.
Pretend You Care
When someone tells some story, act like you give a shit. Don’t interrupt, ignore or act all unimpressed, but act like you’re curious about them as a person. Someone at one time did this for you, so pay them back by pretending to give some fucks about some person who is boring and meaningless just like you were.
Go To Places
Don’t lock yourself in your house and watch TV. That is making you a boring idiot. Go out and see and hear things. Just saying you went to a show or a lecture last weekend makes you more interesting than most people. “You watched the entire new season of Orange Is The New Black, and you went to see Anu Partanan talk about the differences between American culture and Finnish culture, and how we can be a better society. Tell me more about your thoughts on Poussey Washington while you go make a Finnish vodka and soda?”
Look The Person In The Eyes Like You’re Gonna Murder Them Tonight
When you talk to someone or you are listening you keep those eye balls on their eye balls. Blink rarely and slowly nod. Maybe slightly part your lips and mouth breathe. Make your stare burrow into their soul. Don’t look all around to find a shiny object to distract yourself.
Get That Body In Shape
When someone sees you and you look like a fat slob, you are suddenly not interesting because you look someone who doesn’t get up unless there is a coupon for KFC. A fit person goes on adventures. They climb mountains and raft rivers and shit. That shit’s tight.
Make Your Own Friends And Let Your Partner Be Powerlessly Alone
This is especially true if you moved somewhere with a partner. Go out and find your own group of friends and have your own unique conversations and let your partner fend for themselves. The odds are you and your partner are going to break up or get divorced anyway, so might as well have some friends that you can fuck later.
Do Interesting Things (Not That You Are Going To Try Interesting Things)
Do something that is fun and challenging and above all, interesting. Yes, a hobby. Go hump up and down hills or create Persian battle scenes with miniatures and realistic landscape. Don’t just say, “Oh, I just hang out and shit, you know.”
Be A Better Person By Being Helpful
Interesting people volunteer and help other people. Seeming to be selfless will make you a lot more approachable and trusting. This also gives you a topic to go to if you want to talk about how good you are. Don’t fuck around with something easy or something you do every three or more months, but something hard and often. Help some people, champ!
If You Want Friends, You Are Going To Lose You Time
You’ll be hanging out with people and they will want your time, so you will have to give up your precious Netflix and nap time to be with people. Don’t overdo your generosity where you are just a cranky piece of shit instead of a gracious person when you hang out, so be okay with saying no.
Be Ready To Be Let Down
People are not going to match your hard work in creating meaningful relationships because people are selfish assholes. Also, people will take when someone is giving, so you might find your friendships one sided a lot of time, but be patient, you never know when people might show up for you.