On January 11th, 2016, I started a daily practice of writing a joke meditation of the day called Cracked Pot Meditations. I was still recovering from the treatment of cancer, and I was having very challenging cognitive issues, so I chose just to put something simple and easy to write every day. Posting it to the blog allowed me to have some accountability. Some of those meditations were poorly written and unedited. I have gone back and begun editing these and adding an illustration, starting with the April 27th meditation. I hope you enjoy.
Meditation for May 5th, 2016
How We Get There
A wise man once said, “It’s not the destination that matters, it’s the journey.” This was said when the world wasn’t very comfortable, and most people had to sleep outside. Usually, wherever your destination was, you’d die before you got there anyway. Nowadays, it’s how you get there.
Living in a city means you have plenty of options when deciding how to get somewhere. You can walk, bus, bike, longboard, car, or just not go at all – the popular choice of the kids.
How you get places tells what kind of person you are.
People who drive are eager to get wherever they are going. Drivers are the most impatient, selfish, and destructive of the transporters.
Drivers just won’t shut up about traffic. Drivers look at themselves as the only real driver and car that exists, and all other cars as obstacles getting in the way of their destination. The car separates people from the human race. Road rage is a cry to the heavens because a person is just realizing they aren’t alone and that the person who cut them off is very real and may have done it maliciously, and therefore, man is cruel, love isn’t real, and now a person is feeling naked and alone while screaming at the windshield.
Drivers are always late because they think that, since they are going to drive, they always have ten more minutes. People think everything is seconds away because they have this metal box that uses exploding gas to launch it across great strips of tarred rock. Part of the reason the traffic is so insane is that everyone is late to somewhere.
Drivers use terms like offensive and defensive driving as if they were playing football or at war. Drivers have to be aware of their blind spot because if they don’t, they could get attacked. People are afraid of being shot on the road. Cars crashing into each other at speeds beyond human capabilities is a scary prospect.
Drivers love living far away from where they work or where their kids go to private school, so they end up destroying the environment by living in new suburban neighborhoods that was a forest last year. The oil they waste has caused about a dozen wars over the past 100 years. Even if you have a Bernie sticker on your Subaru or a free Tibet sticker on your Prius, you have blood on your hands.
The cyclist is the entitled spoiled brat. They want a pat on the back for being so physical and eco-conscious. They have no respect for drivers, pedestrians, or even other cyclists if they don’t respect cyclists’ strict ethical and cultural rules enough.
Cyclists blame everyone else for their problems. A cyclist has little respect for traffic laws – unless a car disrespects them. A cyclist will claim to be a pedestrian or a car if it suits their needs in a traffic dispute. A cyclist is never at fault because they are self-important.
If you ride your bike on the sidewalk, you should be shot. It’s a sidewalk, not a sideride.
Bus people are adventurous but need leisure. This is for those who don’t care if they get where they are going on time or if it’s okay to leave earlier. A bus person is always early. Even though they had to leave an hour and a half before they got to work, transferring three times, and one of the buses didn’t even show up, they had to wait for the next bus and still ended up being twenty minutes early. They watch all the drivers walk in late.
One can read, listen to music, picnic, play World of Warcraft, find dates, learn about abnormal psychology, and enjoy a diverse community. While drivers must remain somewhat focused on the road in front of them, a bus rider gets to relax and watch the road go by them in deep reflection.
The bus rider is in constant meditation.
The pedestrian is like the Fool of the tarot cards, just wandering and looking at stuff. They need to be wary, for a car, a cyclist, or a bus could kill them.
Prayer
Hermes,
I just need to get there.
I can’t stand the idea of being still.
I need to be going somewhere or I’ll die like a shark.
I need to be doing errands and writing lists and achieving goals and having new goals and stopping here to check it out and stopping there to see if it changed and I need to be moving and I need to stop and do some weights at the gym and maybe I’ll stop at Whole Foods and start a new diet and then I’ll stop at the ice cream shop and I want never to have to go home and not having anything to do or I’ll just realize that my life is meaningless and I’m just trying to fake a busy life to keep myself from wanting to die alone.
Amen.
Craft
Find a bus that goes waaaaaay out of town. Please take it to the end. Don’t get off at the last stop unless the drivers insist. Wait for the return. Think.
If you’re a driver, use the bus for one week.
Walk more.
If you ride a bike, follow all the traffic laws—even if no one is there to see you.
Goal
Cars are killing people
The bike is killing you
Walking is your salvation