Meditation for May 22nd
Monkey Brain
Our minds help us make decisions, know things, problem-solve, and communicate. Then there is the monkey brain, deep inside that mind, and it is going to fuck all of that rational thought up.
You will make huge relationship mistakes because monkey brain will yell, “SEX NOW!” Your rational mind will tell you why this relationship is doomed to fail, and your creative mind will tell you there is no excitement with this person. Still, your monkey brain will win because you are nothing but a stupid animal, and you will hang on to a dying relationship years after it should have ended so that you won’t be alone.
You will always make the most selfish choices because your monkey brain will make you. You will throw your loved ones under the bus just because your monkey brain will make you get what you want at all costs, because you are no better than a dog. Either your loved ones are in the way of what you want, or they have what you want and might not share, so you must take decisive action.
You won’t ever be healthy because your monkey brain will make you overeat. There is never enough food! You will fill up because your monkey brain will think you won’t know when you’ll eat again. The only reason you are not overeating and hitting the gym all the time is because your monkey brain is telling you that you will die alone unless you look like a Greek statue. You won’t go to the gym because your monkey brain will tell you to rest more. Either way, your monkey brain will drive your health.
You will overreact to what people say because your monkey brain will think someone is trying to kill you and breed with your mate.
Your monkey brain will try to stop you from getting close to anyone because your monkey brain wants you to mate with several mates and not get hurt.
Your monkey brain will make you buy lots of stuff because your monkey brain knows that more is better.
Your monkey brain will get angry when people disagree with you because your monkey brain thinks that a different pack is in your territory, and all non-pack members should be killed. If you pee on them, then they are yours.
Your monkey brain will lead you astray. If you ever think of fighting, yelling, walking away, typing up an open letter, or commenting on social media, you let your monkey brain guide your life.
Prayer
Enki,
God of Civilization,
Please help me not to be an animal.
Gods don’t help animals like God helps man.
I want to be so rational that feelings are just theories.
I don’t want to be reactionary anymore like a silverback gorilla on meth.
I want to be a stone-faced intellectual.
I want to be stoic.
I don’t want to be a “feelings” person.
I just want to turn my nose at emotionally charged obstacles.
So, please help me not be an animal—Mother Nature’s cruel ball and chains.
I want to be a person of rational thought.
Amen.
Craft
Don’t react to anything. Being reactionary is animalistic. Humans are better than animals.
Thumbs.
Language.
Names.
These make us better than animals.
Arguing is savage and belongs in nature. Get civilized.
Goal
Stop making decisions with the monkey brain. Stop reacting to other drivers, the weather, political memes on Facebook, or whether mandolins can be played in traditional bluegrass. Be a human, not a rabid squirrel.