In September 2014, I was diagnosed with stage three cancer, and by the time I was done with two major surgeries and four rounds of intense chemo, my brain was fried. I couldn’t concentrate and was full of fog if I tried. I was starting to work part-time and couldn’t do much before feeling a lot of fatigue. There was one point where they thought the cancer had gotten into my liver, and if that was the case, I didn’t have long for this world. The good news was that it hadn’t gotten into my liver, so I was just done and now supposed to return to my old life.
In 2016 I decided I needed to get into a creative practice that would allow me to pull back the heavy drapes of fog that obscured my brain and do a humorous meditation every day for 365 days. I spent every day typing up a fake funny meditation in the form of the stereotypical meditation books published by Hasleden. I took my experience with self-help, recovery, and spirituality and created Cracked Pot Meditations.
Many of these posts were done at three o’clock in the morning after coming home from a truck stop diner that was the home of the meeting after the late night meeting, and I was lying on my back typing it up and positions without any editing. Some of the posts are just poorly written. I give myself a break because I was recovering from a traumatic medical experience that robbed me of my cognitive thinking and creativity.
The Sober Horoscope has become one of my most popular posts ever. I made them based on people having a sign for what zodiac season they got sober and how that would rule their sobriety and recovery. Again, it was haphazardly and rushed so that I could have done better work.
I am returning to the Sober Horoscope again but with more editing and more information. Since it is now September 23rd, we have entered the sign of the scales, the Libra. Let’s make fun of Libras since they hate being embarrassed.
The Sober Libra
(September 23rd – October 22nd)
Experience
Many alcoholics who get sober during Libra season are getting sober because they are very embarrassed. They must have done something where they looked horrible in front of people and were so bad that they needed to go to AA to show that they knew they looked terrible and would do anything not to look bad again.
Sober Libras get sober because they need to save face. Many Scale alcoholics get sober younger than the other sign because their bottom is only something someone else noticed. Many Sober Libras stay in AA because it is an excellent place to look good.
Strength
The Sober Libra will enjoy AA meetings; they are social and love to be involved with anything where they can share and listen to others. They will love to be the hero and often join groups where the intellect isn’t very high so that they can be the smartest in the room.
Because of the scales representing the Libra, combining the three legacies of AA; recovery, fellowship, and service will always be an easy feat, and you will find these Libras doing a little of each.
Once they find the meetings they like, they will become fiercely loyal to those groups and bend over backward to ensure they are super good. They won’t be a leader or anything, but they will back up the leader if there is one. A Libra always makes an excellent second in command.
Hope
After a Libra stays sober for a while, they will become vain again and rely on only the aspects of AA that others can see, like service work. Things that no one notices, like inventory, prayer, and meditation, will fall by the wayside. They will always be at the front lines with their service and share their point of view in business and service meetings.
They will also wax philosophical and moral in their shares. They will ponder what real recovery is and how to measure it. A Sober Libra will become a judge and jury of what alcoholics are in real recovery and what alcoholics are just living in self-will. The Sober Libra does not tolerate mistakes by others, but if the Libra makes a mistake, then suddenly it is the actions of a sick alcoholic doing the best they can.
Relationships
The Sober Libra is a love bomber and finds it necessary to be in nothing but monogamous long-term relationships. They can’t stand not being in a relationship or a relationship where they are the alpha and the omega to their partner. They must be everything to someone. Getting sober in the middle of autumn makes the Sober Libra hot at first, and then they will become freezing once they feel the person is there for good. A Sober Libra will always take their partners for granted.
A Sober Libra that has been dumbed will have a tough time because of how bad it will look to have a failed relationship. If the partner is also in AA, they will move to another state so they never see that person again or anyone who ever knew they were together.
Career
The alcoholic who gets sober in the Libra season will attend law school. This is their only path. No other career choice will make sense to them or anyone else; they are the scales of justice, for heaven’s sake! With the power of recovery and their relationship with a higher power, they can uphold justice or even become a judge and decide justice!
The Libra will always feel the pain of justice not being served. They notice every wrongdoing others do and will have a perfectly rational reason why they are entitled to misconduct themselves when needed.
Libra Pitfall
The Sober Libra will steal a group’s seventh tradition and run to Mexico with it, buying a hooker, a donkey named Dave, and a lot of blow. You will see the Libra years later and will act like nothing happened and may even use their original sobriety date as their current date even though everyone knows the Libra relapsed.