Meditation for November 14, 2016
Super Moon? More Like Stupid Boo!
Tonight the moon will be bright and will look huge. Just like previous meditations I have written has stated that the moon is super important to our physical health, mental health, and spiritual health. Without the moon shining on our auras we would be without purpose and connection to our higher powers.
Except if you are living in the Pacific Northwest, it’s fucking raining. You won’t be able to look up to see the super moon without fucking drowning.
That’s right, here in the dark depressed blue states of Oregon and Washington it won’t be a super moon. So instead of being super charged with lunar gossamer light to fill us up with celestial energies, we’re just going to be rained on.
For some reason, people all over this country are like, I hate where I live, so I wanna go to where those Kinfolk Instagram pics are made like babies, and where I’ll just get shit on from November to goddamned July with rain.
So when you are studying your horoscope with a star chart and you live in the Pacific Northwest, remember to consider that you will not be seeing the stars that are dictating your life.
Financial life: pouring rain on your prospects. Pour sounds like poor. Sell blood.
Love life: showers all over your cute picnic basket that you bought at Whole Foods. Everything being cold and wet is basically your love life.
Family life: rained out. Just stay alone and binge watch Netflix while you vaguely remember being into the outdoors.
Magic numbers: rain
Things to look out for: mud, slippery leaves, everyone complaining about the weather, and bad driving.
Some parts of the world is seeing this magical moon that takes up the entire sky and is so bright it is like day time.
You are seeing rain.