Meditation for December 6th, 2016
The Bus Sorcerers
Riding the public buses required a certain amount of magic. The kind of magic that is used to board and transfer is wild and volatile.
When you board the bus, and if you are a powerful sorcerer, you show the driver your pass immediately. Those with no magic fish through their pockets and bags for two to three stops before pulling out a dripping wet transfer out of a shoe.
Sometime there are battles of sorcery on the bus. One of the spells a sorcerer can put on another sorcerer is to sit next to that sorcerer, even if there are other seats available!
Another spell is to have a loud conversation on your phone about a weird health issue you are having involving your sexual organs and a raw chicken metaphor.
Just stare at someone with headphones in. Don’t break eye contact until they react strongly and then act like you just came out of a weird trance.
In the dead of winter, open a window.
You pull the finger right when the bus is passing the stop before your stop.
A true bus sorcerer will be at the back door as the bus is pulling up to the stop while a normal person not blessed with magic will wait till the bus stops before getting their stuff together, then standing up and going to the door furthest from their seat and getting off, but not without looking back at the seat for anything that might be missed. Whole thing takes five minutes, and five minutes on a bus is five hours.
A bus sorcerer knows not to look up and make any eye contact with any old men sitting up near the front. This is an invitation to hear a story about the time the old man did something neat – in his opinion.
Sorcerers have to deal with demons a lot. Demons wear huge backpacks and will stand over a sorcerer’s seat and smother them with the backpack.
A true bus sorcerer will know to take the earlier set of busses and risk being really early then take the last minute bus and just find out too late that the bus they were expecting was cancelled.
A bus sorcerer will stand at the foot of the bus stop sign pole so the bus doesn’t drive by. Even then the magic might not be strong enough.
Taxis are too expensive and too wild. Uber and Lyft are like Devils that get you hooked because they are priming you for ripping your soul out and reminding you that despite your precious liberal leanings, the world is a cold hard capitalistic claw around your scrawny neck and you couldn’t see the devil till it was too late.