Meditation for April 9th
Time Machines,
Sometime in the future, man will invent time machines. People are coming back in time and screwing up our timelines, trying to change their lives for the better, so they came up with strict time laws to ensure timelines don’t get destroyed and their present doesn’t get awful.
Our future selves are coming back to the present to try to stop us from making mistakes or to guide us toward a more successful path. Like Bill Murray’s character in Groundhog Day, but with an invisible version of ourselves trying to exert our will on our past selves to make our present selves more successful. We can’t interact with our past selves without catastrophic consequences.
Are you in a drawn-out, long, loveless marriage that even kids couldn’t help, so your future self goes back, silently manipulating yourself from meeting this terrible future spouse? You may have wasted several years in a career that squashes your passions and zest for life, and you have gone back in time to discreetly change your path to becoming a sex coach rather than an insurance underwriter. Some go back in time to invest in Apple at the beginning because they see no mistakes, but do not make enough. There is never enough, though, even with the ability to take from past timelines.
I’m saying that in the future you pay to go back in time and, without your knowing it, alter your timeline. The rules are: you can’t talk to yourself without a disguise. You can’t interact, or you could blow up your own timeline. You are to subtly try to alter your own timeline by sabotaging your past. Get yourself fired, dumped, or sick at the right moment. Being pushed into a person who ends up becoming a date, a new job, or a doctor visit at the right time, but sometimes even with these gentle pushes, we make our lives worse. We can’t know whether the present we’re living through, even if full of hardship, might be the best possible outcome, and that anything else would be much worse.
Do you ever feel like life is hard and the universe is out to get you? It is! Except instead of the universe, it is you from the future. There are times when you’re having a hard day, and nothing is going right. Why is everything going wrong? You can’t seem to get on the right foot. Why is this happening? Because a future self is trying to make their life better by changing your timeline’s projection, but instead of pushing you into success, you are being pushed into worse situations. Maybe your future self can fuck off; you are already doing a good enough job messing your own life enough.
Prayer
You,
It is you from the future.
First off, a God has been proven as a myth,
So stop being shy when you masturbate.
Buy those sex toys.
I am sending you this telepathic fax,
To let you know,
That you are on the wrong path.
You should not be a teacher.
To expand children’s minds.
You end up yelling at a kid,
(The kid deserved it, but kids are treated like fine porcelain dolls in the future. They don’t have physical ed or recess for fear of injury, both physical and emotional. Kids get to be as unruly as they want, and we as teachers are to respect that rather than discipline.)
And getting fired.
You become sullen and despondent.
Your prospects are lacking.
You turn to drinking rosé,
Watching the remake of Sex in the City: Portlandia,
And crying.
Don’t be a teacher.
Be a financial adviser.
Stop pretending the world rewards passions and altruism,
The rich are richer,
And the rich are getting richer by taking their money,
And investing in getting richer,
Trickle down, baby!
Ok, thanks for listening.
The point being,
Give up on your creating a better future bullshit.
The world becomes a dark place when President Trump is elected to a 6th term.
I mean,
It’s not Trump, it’s a hologram with his personality programmed into it.
Trump then uses Truth Social to communicate.
Some mistakes ensue from technology being new,
But invading Granada a second time helped unify America,
So it was worth the many slaughters.
Amen.
Craft
Time machine is a tricky thing. You have to come back at a moment in your life when you are vulnerable to change. These moments are few and far between since we are usually so resistant to change. With the help of a chronologist, we see where those points on our timeline are.
We are sent back to a few days before that point. We have no direct communication with ourselves. We can’t just walk up to ourselves and say, “Hey, don’t be like that.” Timelines, cracks like a spider web, causing errant timelines to spread out, making time fragile and reality lose its tactile feel. We are now in both the current and future timelines, which creates unstable physics.
We basically become our own troublemaking gnome. We pull practical jokes to ward us away from making that decision. We drop hints, or coincidences, so that we might change our path. Are you feeling deja vu or feel like there have been a lot of coincidences or ‘god-shots’? That might mean you are trying to deter yourself from something.
We can, in disguise, directly confront ourselves, but we can’t talk about the future or time travel. We can use our disguised self as a guardian angel or a sage. This is risky because we may subconsciously recognize ourselves, and that alone could crack the space-time continuum.
You will know exactly when you change it because your memory will be different. You will have a memo to yourself in your Google Glass version 11.4.72 about why you are in the past and why, so then you can go back to your time and enjoy your new present.
Goal
There are signs everywhere. There are no coincidences in one’s life. We feel watched and see bizarre things we can’t explain. There are frequent sightings of the same homeless person intersecting our lives. These are our doing.
Open your eyes to your future self before you make a huge mistake. Is your future self trying to tell you something?
Be open to change so your future self will come back and help that change happen.
Be careful if a big Austrian man asks any questions about John or Sarah Connor.