On January 11th, 2016, I started a daily practice of writing a joke meditation of the day called Cracked Pot Meditations. I was still recovering from the treatment of cancer, and I was having very challenging cognitive issues, so I chose just to put something simple and easy to write every day. Posting it to the blog allowed me to have some accountability. Some of those meditations were poorly written and unedited. I have gone back and begun editing these and adding an illustration, starting with the April 27th meditation. I hope you enjoy.
Meditation for August 18th
Why You Can’t Think For Yourself
You want to be an individual who makes good choices and lives with free will, but you aren’t. There are reasons why you can’t. You want to make the world a better place, but at the end of the day, you feel apathetic or really into a cause that does nothing really for anyone. You feel like you should vote a certain way, but something keeps you from voting your conscience. Why does it feel like something is forcing you to behave a certain way and not in your own best interest?
What is it? What is making you unable to think for yourself? What is making it impossible to be a real human being, making very real choices?
Vaccines
You were vaccinated for smallpox, tetanus, and other diseases. They claimed that it wiped out polio and scarlet fever, but in reality, it is to make you docile and subservient to the cause. Side effects include autism, catching the vaccinated disease anyway, and not being affected by crystals. Crystals fucking hate vaccines. Keep your kids away from vaccines, or you will be raising the next Donald Trump or Charlie Sheen.
Fluoride
This is tricky because it is science, and it is helping poor people, but studies have shown that poor people who have fluoride in their water are still poor and voting for terrible people. Wake up sheeple, fluoride is making you a zombie: go to work, mow the lawn, go to work, mow the lawn, go to work, mow the lawn…
Chemtrails
You see them criss-cross the sky on a sunny blue day, and the blue makes way to a hazy silver blanket that mists mind control chemicals all over the cities and countryside. Next thing you know, we’re all gaga over a Kardashian or a Bieber (written in 2016, so now it’s Taylor Swift and Boone Benson?), and the real issues are forgotten. Obey. Consume.
Not only is this an excellent place for other people under the influence of chemtrails and fluoride to express their opinions, but the government, through media empires, can post articles to make you think exactly the way they want you to think. Bernie Bros, #imwithher, and Trump brownshirts are all being swayed by Buzzfeed, Breitbart, Vice, Huffington Post, the Blaze, and a million other controlled media. Remember when the CIA used to depose governments that didn’t side with American interests? Now they post infuriating posts on Facebook.
HAARP
The High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program in Alaska is said to be studying the transmission of radio waves through the ionosphere. Still, it is probably causing earthquakes and controlling your mind. Do you think climate change is caused by not separating your recycling? It’s the government controlling the weather to do what it wants. Do you think all the transmitters are pointing out?
How do you get free of the mind control all around you? Here are some tips to keep your will free.
Tattoos
Cover your forearms with tattoos to block out the chemicals with the mist repellent ink. To keep the HAARP waves from soaking into your skin, birds and nautical tattoos will deflect the waves into the atmosphere.
Wear all black
This way, the mind control can’t specifically target you. They’ll have to use melee strikers instead of relying on huge burst and blast attacks. Even though you don’t do any labor, wear heavy denim, and patch any holes with patches of under-appreciated, terribly produced rock bands.
Do not bathe
Cleanliness is next to mind control. Smelling like shit and covered in grime is a lot like Arnold Scwartzeneger covering himself in mud so the predator couldn’t use its advanced optics to find him. Predators got their technology from us. Don’t bathe, and they can’t find you. Be an animal, and society won’t be able to control you.
Live in squalor
Live in really poorly maintained rental homes with no less than seven of your friends, and make sure that each person has a large pet (cat or bigger) and one small pet (cat and smaller). The home must not be maintained at all and must be left broken, and the landlord must be unaware of any damage. Only the comfort seekers can be found by the mind control.
Imagine that what you are doing is radical and part of a subculture.
This way, the government will be studying your movements and decisions to figure out what trends will emerge from these edgy hipsters. They never understand that it’s just the same thing time after time: be cool, listen to similar music, try to have sex, and use drugs and alcohol. Pretend to be pissed at the status quo.
Do these things before it’s too late. Without conforming to the mind control-free crowd, you will find yourself interested in pop culture from the 80s to now, a bizarre love for reality TV, a general malaise for extreme opinions, and a love for places like Costco, IKEA, and Home Depot, and you will probably pick up golf or pickleball.