Meditation for May 14th
Your Social IQ
How are you with other people? We must deal with other people, no matter what we try to do. Some people have a much easier time with this than others. The extrovert just simply walks into a room with ease and comfort and commands the people there while the introvert shakes in the corner.
The first step to a good social IQ is seeing the world around you. You are not alone in this world. It is a fact that you are not the only real soul in the world and everyone else is your imagination. You are just one in 7 billion plus people. You aren’t the best, nor are you the worst. You are an easily forgotten, mediocre being.
You need to see where you are in crowds. Are you loud, boisterous, and opinionated? Then shut the fuck up. If you are a silent shaky shy person then speak the fuck up. Letting fear get the best of you is wasting your life. You only have so much time.
Be courteous. I’m mindful of how you will affect another person by doing whatever you do. Walking into a restaurant at five minutes to close and demand a bunch of things make you an asshole that doesn’t put other people’s feelings and life into account.
Listen. This is the best way to have a high social IQ: by listening. No one wants to hear your stories. Unless your story is the hit of the night, sit back and ask a shy person many questions. You’d be surprised how interesting quiet people are when you aren’t shouting over them. Listen to what a person wants. Sometimes that means listening between the words to hear the real intention.
People are wrong. Sometimes the best thing is to let them be wrong. We aren’t travelling editors and arbiters of knowledge justice. We are wrong all the time, too. Does it help to be interesting, or are you to blame for being bad?
How do you add to a social gathering? How do you make the party even better than your absence? How do you not get so self-conscious that you leave or mope in a corner? How do you not be defiant of possibly having fun? Just try to liven the party up positively and you become a social Einstein!
Prayer
Nanshe,
I am walking into a trap,
Or at least not knowing any of these people, feels that way,
But I have to be here.
Give me the power to smile and nod when someone tells me a story about something not interesting; like their kids.
Give me the strength to cock my head to the side and nod as I try and follow the story of how the oldest one is learning Portuguese.
I need your divine intervention to keep me from telling this parent that it sounds like they are creating an uncertain future for their children.
I will need your speed to get me away from that person and to smoke or drink or flirt or try things from the medicine cabinet and have fun.
This person wants to finish their story about the younger one learning Mozart.
I don’t have kids,
And listening to this person talk about kids makes me want to body surf lava naked.
Oh!
It’s been one hour,
I can socially leave ethically!
See ya!
Amen.
Craft
Sometimes parties get dull. They need to be livened up. Try these quick statements to liven up a party.
“You know what movie sucked? The Shawshank Redemption.”
Depending on the crowd, “I can’t tell the difference between Radiohead and Coldplay”.
“If you cut the rich’s taxes, you’ll have that money trickle down to the poor.”
“Not everything he says is bad.”
Taylor Swift sure doesn’t know how to sing and play guitar, amirtie?”
“I heard on Joe Rogan the other day…”
“All (generalized people) do (stereotype).” Extra points if said generalized person is at the party, so all of you guys can ask what the deal is with that.
“I’m just saying that women can be uncomfortable with a man in a dress coming into their bathroom.”
“The Dalai Lama is an asshole.”
You can create something to stir the pot at your particular get-togethers. The way to get it going is by ensuring there is a Champion, a person who will champion the cause against your unjust statement, and a Troll, who will take your case and make it worse.
Goal
Stop being the only person in the universe.