Meditation for March 11th
Leaving It Behind for Happiness
We can’t always be happy. Life can be a battle sometimes, but when we get through the tough times and find ourselves enjoying a little sunshine after the rain, we feel happy. Why can’t we feel happy more often? If we suffer from depression and anxiety, happiness is just farther out of reach for us than for other people. What if there were things you could change or give up for more happiness? There is, traveller, there is.
Environmental stressors:
These are things around us at home, at work, in our car, and anywhere else we spend time that cause us stress. First off, make your bedroom a sanctuary. Get as many pillows as you possibly can; always use candlelight, for electric lighting sends negative vibes into your skin and into your blood, carrying them into your brain. Learn the art of Feng Shui, the art of keeping everything in the right order or fucking madness, man! If there is just one little thing out of place, you risk a total meltdown. Keep your eye on wrinkles in your sheets, a corner of your yoga mat sticking up, a drawer slightly ajar, or any other kind of joy interrupter, and fix it.
Your environment isn’t just where you live and work. Bring a dinner centerpiece of seasonal flowers and plants accented with crystals and candles to every restaurant you go to. Don’t hesitate to move furniture around to fit your needs; you’re doing this for you, and you deserve it! Don’t let servers tell you that you can’t have two or three tables and seven chairs for your lunch of one.
Put your stuff on the seat next to you on public transportation. Taking up personal space is a huge step towards spiritual happiness. To feel joy, you have to spread yourself out. When we are confined, we are sad, like we are in a prison or a coffin. When there were more spiritual people on Earth, there was so much space between them that the heavens could aim their gifts more accurately.
Sleep:
One reason the Buddhas were so spiritual was that they slept 20 hours a day. The less time you are awake dealing with life’s stresses, the more chances you have to be content. I would recommend sleep medication for those of you who get nine or fewer hours of sleep a night to make sure you get the dream time you need.
Dreams are very important. They are the subconscious singing to our conscience. Write down those dreams and interpret them correctly. You can cut out what your unconscious wants from what you want and start adding in what it does.
Eating:
One of the reasons a lot of us are so sad is that we eat too much, then we are sad because we are fat, so we eat more to drown our sorrow. The big reason for this is body image. We live in a culture of more, more, more, but look less, less, less. We see commercials of skinny white people enjoying KFC, but not reaping the consequences of eating extremely oily fried foods. Remember the fat, happy Buddha? He ate whatever he wanted whenever he wanted, and when he wasn’t slopping mush, food-soaked drool, and food-soaked mouth, he was laughing because he was so full and happy. Eat! Eat till all you want to do is puke, then eat some more, puke, so you have even more room, and eat more! Laugh!
Social stressors:
People are the biggest stressors of all. They want things from you. They want answers to hard questions like where you want to eat, whether to turn on a light, whether to get gas on the way to the place or on the way back, and if you want to drive over to that one station to save .001 cents? Whew! That is a lot of shit. Why don’t they make up what they want to do in their own heads and then leave talking to the more interesting things, like talking about us?
The best thing to do is cut a lot of people out of your life. They are just getting you down. Almost everyone is toxic. Save the political, sports, and religious conversations and arguments for Facebook, and stop having coffee with people whose company could make your blood pressure rise. If you have a job that puts you in front of people, then it’s time to look for something you can hide behind a wall, because people want stuff all the time. When I worked in a grocery store and all people want to do is come in looking for stuff and if they don’t find it, they’d ask me for stuff, then if they find it they’d come up to me who then would get asked if they can buy the stuff and I have to let them buy it from me because I have the machine and the job to use it. I used to have to do this hundreds of times a day. I am extremely spiritual so that I can handle that kind of stress, but the point is to help the people who can’t handle people asking them for stuff, and possibly making them suicidal.
Prayer
Kuafu,
make me happy.
Let me cut some of these things out of my life that keep me from being happy.
Work,
Family,
Most friendships,
Love,
anything I’m not the best at,
From ever watching a disappointing TV show or movie,
From ever knowing the lyrics of any American pop song,
From ever having any expectations for a movie that is based on my nostalgia,
From ever taking the chance of hearing any new music that might be exciting and inspire me,
so let me just hear the best songs of the 60s, 70s, 80s, 80s, 90s & 00,s –
- I can dance to them, and I already know the lyrics. I can look at a friend, furrow my nose, and laugh about how dumb this song is while dancing like an idiot.
No more books from a series of books, and end up waiting years for the next one to come out.
I want things that make me happy.
Just people that make me happy.
Just songs, shows, and books that make me happy.
I want to wake up when I’m ready to, with coffee made, breakfast ready, and money in hand, without stressing. Never mind needing a job.
Never mind the world around us, making it harder and harder to live,
Is that so hard to ask?
Amen.
Craft
This takes a little acting on your part, but whenever you want to do something, or anytime someone asks you to do something inoffensive or slightly off-putting, respond with, “I would LOVE to!” with enthusiasm and gusto.
Instead of saying you’ve got to work tomorrow, 6 am till 2 pm, because that is when you are scheduled, and how much that sucks, and how early that is, say, “I think I’ll go in tomorrow around sixish, probably stay till around 2, and then take the rest of the afternoon off. Maybe go in this weekend too and catch up with a few things.” Make it sound like you make your own schedule. If you do make your own schedule, shut down your job and do it. Learn some discipline, crybaby.
Instead of saying, “Ugh! I hate hanging out with [so and so]!” say, “I fucking love [same so and so from last quote, you know an annoying person that your friends like but you find off putting so you spend your days shit talking that person in hopes that your friends will not hang out with so and so anymore, but so and so just keeps being well liked while people keep telling you that you have resting, bitch face]!”
Basically, act like you’re happy about things that you aren’t, and you might trick yourself. Lying to yourself is the biggest spiritual gift you can give yourself, so be present with your mind.
Goal
Happily, it just can’t happen all the time. You’re lucky if you feel it because life is terrible, and you are just wasting time before cancer or a meteorite gets you. Less than happy, making things more, and working hard so that you can play hard. Don’t just sit around grumbling that things suck all the time because you are basically saying, “Instead of enjoying this game, I’m just going to look at my phone and suck. I’m boring, and I suck, and I wish people wouldn’t notice, so hopefully the bottom lip stuck out, and the furrowed brows will make them not notice that.”
When you enjoy them, people enjoy you.
Except for pool and bowling. Those things are super dull.