Meditation for March
Being Invisible
A lot of people crave attention. People walk around in funky clothes or ride tall bikes, wearing top hats and a curled mustache, so that people will notice them. We talk loudly at parties, then pout if there is competition or we aren’t getting the center stage. But why do we want that kind of attention? In a practice of mindfulness, sometimes we must become invisible and just be.
We want to become invisible. It is hard not to be noticed if we are not talking to people. We basically must wear camouflage to hide in plain sight. Some people walk around, just noticing people who don’t want to be noticed, so they go up to them and make it clear they noticed. I do this for the same reason hunters hunt for sport. I love making sure a shy, introverted person knows they are being perceived. The normal person, if we are wearing our camouflage, won’t notice us at all.
A common deflection is to make it look like you are about to ask someone for something. Carry a lighter and look at someone as if you are going to bum a cigarette. You will suddenly become transparent, like the Predator stalking Dutch and his squad of special forces commandos in the jungles of South America. Maybe stick your hand out like you want a coin or two put there for bus fare. Usually, looking like you are bumming something will help you become unnoticeable. People will do anything to avoid helping a stranger. Like the “want something look”, walking around with a binder or a clipboard covered in hippy stickers will make you look like a person collecting for Greenpeace or Children’s International. People will literally look right through you or suddenly get a phone call.
People will ignore any sign that tells them where to go or what to do. Stand near a how-to guide, and everyone will look away, pretending they didn’t see the sign. When they try to figure it out on their own, they will struggle, but still not look your way. Stand at a bank or grocery store next to a sign that says, “Line starts here,” and watch as people try to start a line anywhere but there because you are a living ghost. People would rather figure it out on their own than look for a sign to read to see what they have to do. Hide where people won’t look.
This might sound counterintuitive, but looking very aggressively hostile will clear away any crowds who might have noticed you for who you really are, so now they are scared that you are wearing a skin-tight wetsuit or animal furs, which makes them blind to you. Pacing and muttering angrily to yourself will give you a wide berth of room around you.
Remember that often, the best approach is to walk with confidence and purpose. If you look like you’re supposed to be there, then people forget you exist; there’s no need to don a ninja or a ghillie suit. Confidence is almost too scary to look at. Most people aren’t even confident in being where they belong.
Prayer
God of Eternal Darkness & Blindness,
Help me get from this place
to that place,
without telling seven people I don’t have change,
even though I just complained about schlepping around this seventy-three cents since this morning,
But I sure am not giving it to these bums.
Help me drift by unnoticed,
Or be in the wake of larger people and shoot ahead when the larger person gets the sad sob story.
Help me remember to place a hand on my pocket so that that thin little change in my pocket doesn’t go ching-a-lng.
Don’t light up this cigarette until I’m out of this danger zone.
Common Sense,
Why didn’t she see the sign that says the line starts here?
Why did he not notice the label that says decaf?
Why is this car suddenly hitting the brakes hard when they’re even applied, even though there have been signs saying the travel lane is ending, and now this driver is yelling at me because the car needs to get into my lane?
How did this person think that she could park in a fire lane because she was getting her hair done, and now she is getting her car towed to her horror and is yelling profanities at the tow truck driver?
Why is this person putting all of the remaining food on the last remaining table at this coffee shop before ordering?
Why was this person waiting for the bus, waiting for the light to change so the bus would make it to the stop, while three other people boarded the bus, looked, then looked through all of your pockets, bags, folds, and in your hat for yo, ur ticket before finding it tucked into the sleeve of your coffee?
Why would you drive very fast, pass me, slow down, get in front of me, and then turn without a turn signal?
Craft
Making your own ghillie suit.
First, get an old army jacket and pants.
Cover the jacket and pants separately with netting. See the netting loose on the clothing.
Find burlap and separate it into individual strips.
Tie the strands of burlap to the netting in strands of fifteen to twenty strips, starting from the bottom and working your way up.
Boom! Now you can stalk your prey or hide in tall grass and bother people like a camouflaged pro.
Goal
People don’t notice you as much as you think. People are so focused on how you look that they don’t notice what you are wearing or how your hair has so many flyaways.
One time I flew away to a discotheque dancing to the funk. I noticed these three very attractive ladies looking over at me. I made sure I put a little more oomph into my dance moves, thinking that these babes were scoping out the dfish merchandise, but as I did a spin move, a real dfish signature, I noticed that I was dancing right in front of a huge mirror. These young ladies weren’t scoping me out; they were looking at themselves! I learned a huge lesson that day.
If life is an illusion, be an illusion.
