Meditation for March 30th
The Tao of Diets
One of the key ingredients to a healthy life is the diet we eat. Choosing a healthy menu will help with sleep, physical strength, overall health, and staying in touch with our meditation practices. There are a lot of diets out there. Some are for weight loss, while others are for a clear conscience or a sense of belonging to a movement. What diet is right for you?
The first thing I should realize is that having any say in what you eat requires money. You can’t eat like a yoga instructor if you are poor. Choosing a plant-based GMO organic diet is very expensive, requires time to prepare, and is mostly a marketing scam.
Plant-based diets are great, and all, but they are time-consuming, and access to them isn’t easily accessible in poorer neighborhoods. Meat, in the short run, is just cheaper. For five dollars or less, one can get a filling meal in one minute at Wendy’s and call it good.
Calorie counting is another time-sucking diet. It also requires a possessive mindset to track how many calories one consumes and ensure it is recorded, so the banana split at midnight won’t tip over the required calorie maximum. There are smartphone apps and watches that track these counts, but when you are just eating to the point of tummy growls, why would you worry about a calorie-based diet count?
Anti-GMO folks are just saying that science is wrong. Genetically Modified Organisms (GMOs) could make healthy food cheap enough for poor people worldwide, so it can grow in places it simply couldn’t before, or keep food prices low. GMO is a broad term, and most people have no idea what it actually means, but it is a hippy keyword, so run for the hills if it isn’t labeled.
Basically, what I’m saying is if you are eating a quinoa salad after your yoga class and you just liked a plant-based article about plant-based diet being better and liked another article talking about how Monsanto is turning South Americans into toads, then you are privileged. Most of the world doesn’t get as obsessed with food as you do.
And you’re bothering people.
Prayer
Demeter,
I’m drinking an avocado, blueberry, kale, ginger, and pomegranate smoothie,
Watching this woman eating a hot dog.
I’m so grossed out.
She should know better.
Hot dogs are made of only the unusable parts of animals,
And that is a lot of fat and calories.
I can’t believe that she is eating a second hot dog!
I am just outside of Whole Foods enjoying my healthy drink,
And I have to witness people not care about themselves.
Why is she eating so fast?
She just ate those two hot dogs in minutes.
She is also drinking a Coke.
Ew, Coke is evil.
She’s coming this way.
She is wiping the hot dog juice off her mouth.
So fucking gross.
Oh.
My.
God.
It’s the girl who made my smoothie in Whole Foods.
She works there!
Ananke,
I know these hot dogs are disgusting,
But they’re $1.50 each.
I had to cut into my lunch,
Because of that, the lady across the street needed a smoothie.
She comes in three times a day,
And eats all of her meals here.
She is always in yoga clothes and carries a mat with her.
Does she do yoga three times a day?
That must be nice to be rich enough to eat so well and do yoga all day long.
She’s usually nice,
But today she was a bitch because she had to wait a while for her smoothie.
Timmy called in sick.
Timmy is always sick because he can’t afford to take care of himself.
She yelled out,
“Do I have to make my own smoothies now? Come on!”
I ran over after I had already clocked out and made her juice.
Now I had to eat two hot dogs instead of using the salad bar.
Why is she staring at me?
Oh, well.
Now I have to go back to work, arrogant, these obsessed, uppity white people with their hippy okayed diets.
Now smile big,
“Hi, there. I hope you’re enjoying your juice!”
Amen.
Craft
Here are the steps you can take to make sure you are not only eating healthy food but also food that nourishes your soul.
- Grow your own food. This way, you know whether it’s organic and non-GMO. The labeling thing right now is just open enough for exaggeration. Make sure you yield enough for the long winter and early spring.
- Forage for the rest. Especially here in the Pacific Northwest, our forests are full of wild edible plants. We can even find spices and herbs to flavor our meals! Get out there and find yourself some wild vegetables and herbs! Mushrooms are also waiting to be picked!
- Only drink water from a natural spring. Tap water and water from our taps are full of minerals and other harmful bits, so get to the source!
- Only eat high vibration foods. The higher the vibration of the food you eat, the more spiritual consciousness you become. Sugars, salts, and high-fat foods are low-vibration foods. Animals after they’re dead have no vibe at all.
- Once in a while, don’t eat. Fasting is a great way to. You can even drink water or just tea, but stay on solid food so that your body can expel bad vibrations.
- Love your food. I mean, before your meal, don’t pray to God and thank Him for your food, kiss your food . . . with your tongue.
- Don’t eat with any metal. Don’t use iron pots and pans, metal utensils, or metal plates. Use wood or crystals. Don’t cook on electric ranges either. Only use gas or an actual open flame. An electric range cooks food slowly. Microwaves will turn you into a cancerous mutant.
- Eat as raw as possible. Don’t cook anything if you can help it. The best thing to do is to actually eat the fruits and vegetables right from the growing plant, like an animal.
Goal
If you are independently wealthy and don’t have to spend a lot of time working or taking care of someone, then you can totally eat healthy and live a holistic lifestyle. Just remember that you are acting on your privilege to be a hippy.